Zoo Trip

We went to the zoo this week. It is funny how taking pictures seems so unimportant once you have 3 children, where it was all I did when I only had 1. The last time we went to the zoo, M was a year old, and I was pregnant with R. We snapped two rolls of film that day.

On Monday, we didn't even think about taking the camera until we were petting the goats, and I remembered all the pictures I took of M, hugging and kissing goats and lambs. Now, I won't have any of R or K for my scrapbook. Well, I am hoping that we'll go again in the fall when it is cooler. That way we can actually finish the zoo as we only did half of it before everyone was too tired and cranky and hot to continue.

My husband TJ wanted to see the wolves. He has a wild streak a mile wide, and being a scientist, he has studied much about wolves and their behaviors.

And I wanted to see the elephants. I am an elephant girl. I have collected elephant figurines for years, and I love the playfulness I see in elephants. It describes me very well. I was also fascinated with the manatees. They were so big! They used their fins to crawl along the bottom of their pool like they were arms.

R liked the monkeys. My schooling efforts with R are focused on storytelling and language skills. Both are necessary for preparation for reading, so I used the zoo as a means to encourage her to talk to me at the end of the day. I asked her what she remembered about her day at the zoo, and she told me how much she loved the little monkey. "She was so cute," she said, in her little exuberant voice.

I asked her to draw me a picture, but she felt too self-conscious. She said, "I don't think I could do it." I recounted all the wonderful pictures she has drawn over the last few weeks, and she smiled but still did not want to draw the monkey. "I want it to be perfect," she said.

I have heard that from her a lot lately. I wonder if she feels too much pressure is put on her performance. I took my cue to leave it alone, and instead of dwelling on a picture of a monkey, I tucked her and kissed her goodnight.

In the morning, she showed up in the kitchen with the cutest little monkey with a bow in its hair. I was pleased with this, and she was so proud of herself. And that pleased me even more.

M loved the zoo too. She was excited to see the tortoise. Ever since we told her that we used to call her Little Turtle when she was a baby (her car seat had a little green shield that reminded us of a turtle shell), she has settled on turtles as being her special animal. However, M has a real love for anything that is an animal. Our most interesting science projects are centered around animals and their behaviors, and she loves to read anything about any animal.

K is too young to fully appreciate a zoo trip, but she was happy to be out. Much of our day was spent keeping track of her and reining in that avid curiosity. I know that all toddlers get into things, and I have been through it with the older two girls. However, imagine taking that mischievous curiosity and magnifying it a hundred fold, and that's our K. She keeps us on our toes.

Despite the heat and all the walking and the struggle to handle 3 inquisitive children, it was a wonderful day. I'll be happy to do it again . . . in the fall.

Eternity of Childhood

I remember how time seemed to stop when I was a kid. Summer days would blend together into something that felt much like eternity. We would play in the dirt for hours, with nothing pressing on our minds but enjoying the hot summer air. I wonder if that is what heaven is like, the wonderment of childhood and the joy of doing nothing.

Here I am, a working mom who is also homeschooling and involved in so many activities that I don't know how I make it from day to day. And then for a moment, I sit and watch my kids play, and that feeling of eternity comes rushing back to me.

I used to work in the garden while they played in the dirt beside me. They would spend hours just moving dirt from one bucket to another. It is amazing to me how that would fascinate them. Now the neighborhood kids come to play in our yard because we have a plastic jungle gym that they love to play on. While the other kids our sitting around on the jungle gym, my kids are collecting bugs.

M comes running up to the three boys, visiting one evening. "I have three slugs," she says, excitedly.

"Why does she keep getting slugs?" one boy asks another.

And I am grinning from ear to ear because I know I have accomplished something wonderful: I have taught them to explore and not to be afraid of the dirt. I haven't overmanaged them, and thus I have the most inquisitive, most ingenuitive, most explorative girls I have ever met.

My 3 princesses wear nothing but dresses because that is what they like, but even then, they don't worry about getting dirty. They still climb, run, play, dig, capture bugs, and dance like ballerinas. R tells me that she is going to be a "superhero princess" when she grows up, and I tell her that she does not have to wait. She can be one now.

I am pleased.

Yes, I am pleased to be part of this eternal world that homeschooling has given us to share with our children. This is what life should be.

Computer Art

ArtRage 2.5 from Ambient Design is another great computer tool for home schooling. For $25, you get a paint, chalk, crayon, glitter, marker, and colored pencil program without the mess. Did I mention without the mess? And oh yeah, without the clutter too....well, until they figure out how to print their creations.

The paint feature really works like paint. If you put down a layer of blue paint and then swipe green paint across it, the green will pick up tinges of blue briefly. And the paint brush runs out of paint just like a real paint brush does. Then you can use the smear feature and spread your paint around. The effect looks like real paint. Can I say that enough? It looks real. The other art mediums also seem very life like, from the grainy texture of crayon to the glossy appearance of marker.

Our girls love this program. We get requests 20 times a day (all right, I am in Exaggeration Mode today) to make something on the computer, and I have been impressed by their results. Yes, it is a lot of abstract art, but the visual effects of this art seems pretty outstanding to me. I have posted some of my favorite pieces on my Webb Art blog. Take a look. Then go have some fun!

Computer Music

We plan to enroll M & R into piano or violin lessons this fall, but in the meantime, I have exposed them to music using some computer programs, particularly Apple Garageband (Mac only) and Finale Songwriter 2007 (Windows and Mac).

The user interface for Finale Songwriter 2007 contains empty music sheets. After selecting musical instruments, you can point and click to add notes and then play your music to hear what it sounds like. This exposes children to the musical staff, notes, and the sounds of instruments. M composed her first piano piece at the age of 5. All right, before you start thinking I'm bragging about my child protege, she really was just pointing and clicking randomly, but the random notes actually sounded pretty good. This was a learning experience for her and preparation for future music lessons.

Apple Garageband contains a mini keyboard. As you play the keyboard, the song is recorded. It is certainly a different perspective, but one that is easier for younger children. The mouse movements require less dexterity, and the keyboard method allows a child to hear the music as they play. This allows a child to familiarize themselves with a piano and with musical sounds at an early age.

What is also great about these programs is that they not only teach children about music, they familiarize the child with a computer (program navigation and mouse control). Furthermore, children learn something about creating and innovating. Art is not just about appreciation; it is about experiencing and creating something new. You don't have to be 40 to create something great.

Never Let Criticism Affect Your Home Schooling Style

Every mistake I made in home schooling came when I allowed criticisms to affect me. Criticism often leads to one of two behaviors: (1) overreaction or (2) stubborn refusal to change. For me, it is usually overreaction, which isn't good for me or the kids.

One well-meaning friend (or maybe not so well meaning) related a story about an acquaintance whose children failed the achievement tests because the parents had always provided the answers in their home school. I then got ultra paranoid that if I give the kids the answers they'll never learn, but you have to give them the answers before they can be expected to know the answers.

My in-laws said that parents cannot effectively discipline their own children, and I felt the need to prove to myself that I was a good disciplinarian. I ended up being too rough on the kids, especially the whining which only led to more whining.

A stranger said I would never be able to provide the amount of time that children need to learn. Two hours? Not enough time. Three hours? Four hours? Five hours? If I gave 3 hours of dedicated home schooling and my husband also gave that much time, it still would not be enough for the kids to learn what they would need to learn. This attitude only leads to burn out.

Then there is the usual criticism: socialization. Let's just stop there. Paying any attention to this criticism only leads to paranoia and dysfunctional children. Children are naturally better at socializing than we are as adults.

So I encourage you to ignore criticisms. Even better yet, don't put yourself into a position to be criticized. Other people's opinions should just be kept to themselves.

Math Skills: Patterns

Of all the early math concepts, learning about patterns was my favorite. "Oh look, it's a pattern," became a frequent phrase in our family. I was about to say, "in our house," but the truth is patterns are everywhere. In the grocery story, in the hardware store, in the library, at the museum, you'll find patterns in books, on the floor, on the walls. I guess people like patterns.

Books About Patterns

Pattern Bugs by Trudy Harris

This story has beautiful artwork and poetry. The bugs, the frames around the pages, and even the words of the poetry follow patterns.

Pattern Fish by Trudy Harris

Like her book on bugs, there are visual and word patterns throughout the book.

Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear? by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle

This is another book with rhythmic word patterns along with a fun theme.

Activities with Patterns

Activity #1

Point out patterns everywhere you go. Walking up some brick steps to get to a museum, I noticed the bricks were laid in a special pattern, and once we got to the landing, the pattern changed. I pointed this out to M & R, and they were hooked, finding patterns everywhere. "Look, mom, it's a pattern," they would say excitedly. You can find patterns on almost anything:

* Wallpaper

* Clothing

* Food Labels

* Book Covers

* Quilts

* Floor Tiles

Activity #2

Take a nature walk. Observe patterns in nature (i.e. leaves, spider webs, flowers, animal tracks). You can even build a nature journal documenting the patterns that you see.

Activity #3

Watch for word patterns in books, poems, and songs. For example, the Big Bad Wolf says, "I will huff and I will puff and I will blow your house down," or there is the response from the pigs, "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin."

Activity #4

Decorate for holidays and birthdays with paper chains or streamers. Alternating between red and green makes a simple Christmas pattern, or you could use pink, red, and white for a more complex Valentine's Day decoration. Or hang streamers of various colors in a window as another pattern decoration for a birthday party…or just because it is a beautiful day.

Activity #5

Rhythm pattern (clap, stomp, clap, stomp) and action pattern (stand, sit, jump, stand, sit, jump) games can be as simple or as complex as you would like them to be. Take turns with the kids on who builds the pattern.

Activity #6

Using colorful beads, string them on yarn to make necklaces. By now, the kids know what a pattern is, so let the kids build their own designs.

Activity #7

Paint a series of shapes in various colors across a piece of cardboard. Tell a story about your picture using pattern words. Makani painted a series of patterns, calling them animal tracks, and then she painted a storm that wreaked havoc with the whole pattern.

Activity #8

Build colorful pattern towers using interconnecting blocks of various colors.

Activity #9

Weave potholders on a loom. Both the colors and the weaving motion reinforce the pattern concept.

Activity #10
Play with your food! Line up your M&M's in colorful patterns.

Finding Joy in the Midst of Home Schooling

I spoke with a friend of mine about the struggles of home schooling. Like me, she has just started home schooling her oldest daughter who is just a few weeks younger than my oldest daughter. We talked much about our frustrations. She has recently come to a place of peace that I have had at times, and her words of encouragement really helped me find joy in home schooling once again. So I thought I'd share this with you as well.

Home Schooling Rule #1 - Avoid the Ruse of Perfection
Perfection is a carefully veiled lie. It sounds great, but really it saps your energy and causes you to run in circles. The perfect schedule straps you down. The perfect organization system keeps you from stepping outside the box. The perfect curriculum prevents exploration. Perfection is a sterile imitation of life.

Life is changing. Life requires adjustment. Life breathes and grows and makes messes all around you. If you stumble into perfection, you will not be ready for the next problem life throws your way. You will not be ready to adjust to the new needs of your home schooling family.


Home Schooling Rule #2 - Don't Let Your Curriculum Trap You
Curriculum can get boring. Curriculum can be great for one child but completely miss the needs of another. Curriculum can be old and stale and stodgy. The great thing about home schooling is that learning is more than just a text book. Instead, learning is about life. Home schooling is about making learning your lifetime endeavor, and curriculum is just a springboard to many interesting topics.

Your job as the teacher is not to force the kids through their text books. Your job is to bring them to the well of learning and show them how wonderful it is to drink from it. The joys of reading, the wonders of science, the mysteries of history, the excitement of numbers: all these things are naturally a part of a child's wonderment. We just need to fuel it.


Home Schooling Rule #3 - Remember to Have Fun
"If you are not having fun, most likely the kids aren't having fun either," my friend said to me. My favorite learning activity was when we did a unit study on flowers. Sure we read lots of books about the life cycle of the flower and the parts of the flower, but the most fun was when we picked different colored flowers and crushed them on paper. What a colorful mess that was! We added glitter and then cut the paper in the shape of butterflies. Art and science all in one.


Home Schooling Rule #4 - Don't Be Ruled by Fear
When fear becomes our motivation, we make faulty and unhealthy decisions. Fears of failure could lead to over schooling. Fears of the state requirements could lead to an excessive amount of testing. Fears of disapproval from parents, in-laws, and neighbors could lead to putting your kids accomplishments on display in a way that is not healthy. Fears of inadequacy could lead to overcompensating with tough curriculum or too much curriculum. Fears of not finding the perfect curriculum could lead to not picking any curriculum.

See my point? Fear twists our behaviors into something that is not healthy and generally causes us to walk either the road of perfection or laziness. A healthier perspective is to let go of all those fears and jump into the fun of learning, much like a child.


Conclusion
Jesus said, "Unless you become like a little child, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Home schooling is the opportunity to learn what it is like to have the faith of a child again: to love learning, to explore without reservation or fear, to trust that all things will work out in the end.

Introduction to Geography

The book Me on the Map by Joan Sweeney is a great start to geography for young children. The story shows a girl in her room and then a map of that room, followed by a picture of her house and a map of her house that also contains her room. The story continues to pan out to her street, her town, her state, her country, and then the world. This gives children an understanding of where they are in context of the entire globe.

Another good book for introducing maps is As the Crow Flies: A First Book of Maps by Gail Hartman. I enjoyed this book very much when I read it to my kids. You experience the world from the perspective of different animals, then you study the map of each animal's world, and finally you see how these individual maps are pieced together.

These two books can be followed up with an art lesson where the children draw their own maps of their bedrooms, homes, and neighborhoods. M & R started drawing imaginary maps about how we get to our new house (we don't really have a new house; it was just a story of theirs).

For an introduction to the world atlas, the National Geographic Our World, Updated Edition: A Child's First Picture Atlas by National Geographic Society did an excellent job introducing the continents of the world, giving detailed information about the peoples and the cultures. This is a good one to read again and again. Although it is an easy read, it contains so much information.

Once a child has a basic understanding of geography and the continents, National Geographic World Atlas for Young Explorers, Revised & Expanded Edition by National Geographic is a great resource for digging deeper into the topic of geography. This book packages facts, pictures, and maps in a way that captivates the reader.

I combined these resources with a wall map of the world. We reference this map while reading both fiction and nonfiction whenever the book mentions a country. Also using the wall map as our reference, we conducted unit studies on the people and cultures of each major country, like we did with Russia. Stay tuned to more cultural unit studies.

Sibling Rivalry

When I brought K home from the hospital, M took to her right away . . . just as she had done when R was born. However, R, my tender-hearted girl, wanted nothing to do with her new baby sister, and she wanted nothing to do with me either whenever I held K. It broke my heart.

K is now 2 years old, and R is 4. It has taken me two years to figure out how to build a bond between those two girls. I learned a few tricks from Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too, and I corrected some of my own behaviors that fueled the division. Now R & K play very well together, and K finally has a friend.

1. Pay attention to your own words. What could you be doing to cause the problem?

I noticed is that R frequently gets in "trouble" when K is around. R's disenchantment with the new baby turned to dislike everytime we scolded her for almost hurting the baby. I remember one day the two girls were playing hide and seek in the closet. K was 1, and R was 3. R kept sliding the closet doors open to peek out and me, and I would cringe as she almost hit K with the door several times. "R, don't do that," I think I said. "You almost hit your sister."

R stopped playing and sat down on my lap, "I don't want K here. Make her go away." Oops, this reaction was my fault. She had played happily with K up until that point. Sure, I want R to learn to be considerate of others and to be aware of the needs of others, but on the other hand, maybe instead I should teach K that she should watch out for swinging doors. K cannot be a baby forever. She needs to have the skills to take care of herself too.

I replaced scolding R with praise. "You are playing with your sister. I really like that," I would say. "That is being very friendly." R's face would light up with a big smile, and slowly she began to play more and more with K.

2. Give security by defining boundaries.

I noticed that R would worry about her personal possessions. K often destroyed her sisters' MegaBlock creations, and R did not feel like she could trust K to know what belongs to whom. R did not know whether K would give back her toys, and so R did not want to share. Hey, if I had a special gardening tool, I would not lend it out to someone who I thought would break it or not return it!

So we solved this problem by giving each girl her own room. We were lucky that we had 4 bedrooms. M & R shared a room, and K (being on a different sleep schedule) had her own room. The fourth bedroom was a play room that all the girls shared. I really liked this arrangement because (1) they had no toys in their rooms to make a mess & to keep them awake at night and (2) I liked the whole idea of having a big play room to segregate the mess from the rest of the house.

Although K still went to bed earlier, keeping her separate from her sisters began to seem like a problem. Throughout the day, she was ostracized from their playtime, and we felt like it was time to unite the three. However, R panicked to have K in their room, getting into their stuff, so we decided to separate M & R so that each girl has her own sanctuary.

Sure, I lost my wonderful play room, but R now gets more sleep and is less cranky. M gets to read late into the night, and K is no longer the third wheel. Furthermore, R now keeps her toys behind a shut door, stopping many arguments before they even happen.

3. Recreate the situation with positive words.

The clincher was when R realized that K liked her. K uses a shortened version of M's name to mean "girl," and she uses this name for every girl she sees. K has never called R by name. I think this has bothered R a little. M & K were becoming friends, and R now felt like the third wheel. M would say, "I like K but not R." And this just worsened the situation.

Then a few weeks ago, something happened that changed this whole thing around. R & K both go to the nursery now because our church does not have a class for 4-year olds. You either go with the big kids (ages 5-12) or with the little kids (ages 0 - 4). We didn't like this very much, and so TJ snuck R into the big kid class one day. Sure, R is 4, but she doesn't run around, she can sit still, and she can do crafts.

Well, K did not want to go into the nursery without R. Several other kids came up to play with her or give her hugs, and she would have nothing to do with them. It was kind of like she was saying, "You're not my sister. I am not playing with you."

That afternoon, we told R how K had asked for her and did not want to play with anyone else. R's face broke into the biggest smile I have ever seen, "K likes me." In fact, she said that several times that day.

The next morning, K was grumpy, having been woken suddenly. While I changed K's diaper, R was petting K's head, but K, being grumpy, pushed R away. Confused and hurt, R asked me, "Does she like me?"

I answered with my usual question, "What do you think?"

"I don't know," she said. Her little brow furrowed in concern.

"Yes, she likes you," I said. "She is just grumpy because it is morning and she is awake."

R has not worried about whether or not K likes her since that morning. She happily takes K's hand, and the two of them tromp off together to play. They now have sleepovers sometimes, and R shares more willingly and freely. When R is around, K does not seem to need as much personal attention from me, and I know K has really wanted a friend.

I am just so happy to see my two youngest finally find eachother.

My Letter of Intent, 2008

M will be 6 this summer and starting first grade. So I finally wrote my first letter of intent. Having a loose homeschooling style made it hard to document our curriculum, but I finally figured out what I wanted to use and how I wanted to present it.

Here is what I wrote for our list of materials:

Curriculum & Core Materials

Language Arts
Reading
We love to read and visit the library on a weekly basis, restocking our supply of books and reading material on a regular basis. Along with library visits, we will use the following reading resources:
* Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons by Siegfried Engelmann

Spelling, Writing, & Vocabulary
We will assign frequent writing assignments to build handwriting and spelling skills. These following books will supplement these assignments:
* A Reason for Spelling: Student Workbook Level A by Rebecca Burton
* Wordly Wise 3000: Book A by Kenneth Hodkinson and Sandra Adams
* A child’s dictionary

Social Studies
Geography
We have a United States map puzzle, and we also have a world map on the wall and will continue to study the cultures of different countries. Along with learning about these cultures, we will use these resources:
* National Geographic Our World: A Child's First Picture Atlas published by National Geographic Society
* The Kingfisher First Picture Atlas published by Editors of Kingfisher

History
We will cover history using the following curriculum:
* History for Little Pilgrims by Michael McHugh

Mathematics
We take a hands-on approach with mathematics, building the understanding of the abstract concepts before applying it to paper. Therefore, we have many learning activities, projects, and games before we do the lessons in the workbooks.
* Math Basics Grade 1 published by I Know It! Books
* Time & Money Grades 1 - 2 published by I Know It! Books
* Count on Math: Activities for Small Hands and Lively Minds by Pam Schiller and Lynne Peterson (Chapters 10, 11, and 12)
* Reader Rabbit 1st Grade Version 1.0 computer program

Science
We take a hands-on approach to science as well, using science experiments along with science handouts and supplemental material from the library. The curriculum from which we work contains 24 different lessons, and we use these lessons as “springboards” to go deeper into the topic.
* Janice VanCleave's Teaching the Fun of Science to Young Learners: Grades Pre-K through 2 by Janice VanCleave
* Janice VanCleave's Big Book of Play and Find Out Science Projects by Janice VanCleave
* The Best of The Mailbox Science First Grade
* Supplemental Library Material

Health & Safety
We discuss safety and fire prevention as part of our family rules and parental discipline. We will continue to enforce the following concepts that Makani already understands:
* why she should wear her seatbelt when she is in the car
* why she should wear a helmet when she rides her bike
* why she should not put a plastic bag over her head
* why she should not put a rope around her neck
* why she should not play with matches or a lighter

We will continue to educate her on these safety issues by teaching her what to do in case of a fire or a tornado.

Physical Education
Currently, we encourage dancing, running, bike riding, and other physical activity. We will continue to encourage this kind of creative play and will also enroll Makani in YMCA classes for swimming and gymnastic lessons.

Fine Arts
We enjoy both music and art within our home. We will continue to explore fine arts education with the following creative resources:
* Garage Band by Apple (music computer program)
* Finale Songwriter 2007 by eMedia (music computer program)
* Music Lessons (piano)
* Classical Music (Mozart, Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi, Beethoven)
* ArtRage 2.5 (art computer program)
* Art mediums including paint, crayons, markers, chalk, and colored pencils
* Craft projects including sewing, building with wood, making puppets, etc.

Acts of Kindness

Recently, there have been two incidents in our home that really blessed my heart. Watching your child choose to be kind to others is one of the sweetest moments in a mother's life.

The first incident is when M decided to make raisin bread for everyone. I have been pushing M to have some autonomy in the kitchen, encouraging her to get some of her own meals. We moved the cereal to a lower cupboard for the girls to reach on their own, and I taught M how to make toast in the toaster and how to butter her own bread. Then one evening, I made the girls "breakfast for dinner," so M was helping with the toast. I intended for her to make her own, but she decided to make a piece of toast for each member of the family. She even got out the plates and served it to each person. I was so blessed by her act of kindness that I just about cried.

Then a week ago, I had everyone clammering at once. While changing K's diaper, I heard R calling for me to come wipe her (she refuses to do it herself), and then M started saying, "Mommy, will you read this book to me?" Um, no, I am kinda busy right now. Just then my husband TJ walked in, "M, Mommy's busy right now. You can be her helper and get that a bag for that dirty diaper." So M jumped up and started helping. But that's not the part that was so cool. The very next day, I had the exact same situation. Once again, R called for me to come wipe her while I was in the middle of chaning K's diaper and putting her down for a nap. This time, without being told, M jumped up and went running for a bag. She cleaned up the dirty diaper before I had a chance to realize what she was doing. "Wow, how on earth did I get such a helper?" I thought.

M answered my quiet question by repeating the words of praise I give whenever they help out. She said, "I helped you out, Mommy. I put the dirty diaper in the trash. I am very considerate."

I have a few parenting rules for myself about kindness and consideration:
(1) Kindness cannot be forced. I don't require them to do it.
(2) I will teach kindness by demonstrating kindness towards my children.
(3) I will praise and encourage any efforts of kindness that I see.

When kindness is forced, it's not really kindness. It does not come from a thougtful and considerate nature. Rather, it is an attempt to stay out of trouble, which is a purely selfish response.

Children who are mistreated are more likely to mistreat others. Would not the opposite be true? Children who are treated with kindness are more likely to be kind to others. For example, sometimes the kids forget to say "please," and I have noticed that when I get all indignant and refuse to fulfill the request until they say "please," they get the message that I am not going to fulfill the request. They then believe that they are not important. They think that they don't matter. If I say, "I'd love to get you some more milk, but it would make me feel better if you say 'please,'" they get a big smile on their faces and say the most pleasant "please." The message they get is two fold: (1) mommy does care about me and my needs and (2) mommy loves it when I say "please."

There is a specific formula for giving praise that motivates a child to keep doing what you praised them for. I learned about this in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & How to Listen So Kids Will Talk, a book about communicating with children. This praise formula includes the following 3 phrases:

(1) a statement of what you see (i.e. "You cleaned off your plate from the table.")
(2) a statement of how you feel (i.e. "I really appreciate the help.")
(3) a statement of summary that gives a name to the behavior (i.e. "That is very considerate.")

So here are a few examples of praise:

The child struggles to draw their letters and does a reasonably good or bad job at it: "You drew two sticks with a line inbetween, and you almost got the lines to touch. I can tell that is most definitely an A. That is careful attention to detail."

The child draws a picture of a house with some flowers: "I see a house with bright red door, and some beautiful flowers growing outside. The bright colors make me feel happy. This is very creative."

The child helps in the kitchen: "You stirred the batter without spilling, and you helped put all the dirty dishes in the sink. I really appreciate the help. That's what I call being a big helper."

The child picks out their own clothes and dresses themselves: "You got your own clothes out of the dresser and put them on by yourself. And you even put your pajamas away by yourself. That is very responsible. I like the colors you picked out."

There are two things that make this kind of praise so much more powerful than the words "good job" or "you're so smart." One reason is that the person receiving the praise really takes the praise to heart. The second reason is that the person feels motivated to keep going. I watch my kids' faces when I praise them like this. There is something I see that speaks volumes on what this does to their hearts. They have been touched by such words, and they then feel confident to continue the praised behavior.

Also, many of the situations listed above are ones where the child attempted something but may not have done so perfectly. You can praise the effort without pointing out the faults. In fact, the faults can be praised right along with the successes, giving the child the idea that a good try is as important as success.

I am a writer and am currently working on a fiction story. I will bring home a section for my husband to read, and he'll say, "Wow, that's good." And the praise leaves me wondering what is so good about it. Are my characters real? Is the plot interesting? Is it well written? Truth is I need to be the one who says, "Yeah, it is good." What I need from others is a description of what they see and how they feel about my book.

Early Language Development: Ages 0 to 4

K recently had her 2 year check up, and the nurses asked their usual questions to gauge her development. One question was "How many words are in her vocabulary? 10? 20?"

This seemed strange to my husband and me. Is 10 or 20 words really normal for a two year old? We had some early talkers who started speaking in sentences at the age of 1 year, but all the same, 10 or 20 words seems really low to me for a 2 year old. So TJ and I started writing down words that we know she says, and within half an hour, we had a list of 125. Since then, I have thought of more words that she says, and I know I could double or triple that list.

What makes our kids different? Personally, I don't believe anything makes our kids different. I think that if people pay attention to the "baby babble" they will realize that their babies are trying to communicate. For example, when M was a baby, I read the book Baby Minds, which greatly influenced how I talked to the girls.

There were several skills I learned that were helpful:

1) Talk with them about everything you do in the course of a day
2) Listen to them and apply good listening skills
3) Pyramid language development
4) Teach them baby signs
5) Read to them

Talk to them
I would talk to them about everything I did. If I was changing their clothes, it was a great opportunity to talk about the names of clothing and parts of the body (i.e. "We pull your shirt over your head. Now we put your arms in the sleeves.") If I was changing their diapers, I would talk about dirty diapers and making them all clean. If I was giving them baths, I would talk about scrubbing their toes and their tummies.

A lot of times, I would make songs up for all these things as well. Though the song could change from week to week. I think M's first attempts to communicate with me were actually in song. I was singing to her, and she just started to sing back. A few weeks later, I noticed that her baby babble had a lot of "k" sounds when I changed her diaper. "I wonder why," I thought as I began to talk to her. Suddenly, I heard my own words and noticed that I said "clean" a lot as I'd change the diaper. Dare I say she was only about 3 months old?

She might not know WHAT I was saying, but even so young, she was trying to imitate language and associating certain sounds with certain situations. Why? Simply because I talked to her.

At 1 year old, K would say "I am stinky" and "Diaper Change." Not just single words, but stringing words together and making sentences.


Listen to them
Language is about communication. Children need to know that language is about expressing themselves, and they learn that by being heard. Just recently R started showing a great deal more self-confidence in her communication, and I have been wowed by her four-year-old mind as she begins to tell me stories and such that she has created in her own mind.

She loves to play with Lego's, and she built what she said was a pirate boat. These were the pirates who loved to dance. She sang me a whole theme song that she had made up for them. Then she began to tell me a little bit about how they lived (they eat cookies after they ate real food) and what they did (they danced and were nice to each other and loved each other) and why their boat had to have walls (to keep out the mice). And at the end, she announced, "They are so cute."

Now let me tell you something, R doesn't get to talk much. When her language skills were ready to take off, she had an older sister who talked over her, and then she had a baby sister who seemed to oust her from the center of her mommy's lap. She needs that special moment each day when there are no sisters to interrupt her, and in that moment, she gains some very important communication and pre-reading and self-confidence skills. And the most important thing I can do is just listen.

Some helpful hints:
1) Get on their level and make eye contact. This helps them know you are listening and that they are important.
2) Rephrase in your own words what you have heard ("So these pirates love to dance on their ship."). This helps them to know that they are really being heard.
3) Ask appropriate questions ("So then what do the pirates like to do?" or "What kind of cookies do they like most?"). This helps you to stay involved without taking over, and it helps them stretch their imaginations just a little further.

Pyramid
This is an idea on how to introduce new ideas and skills. Before they are ready, you supply the answer. When they seem to grow into the new skill, you help them do it. Then when they seem to master it, you step back and let them do it for themselves.

For example, I would introduce the early puzzles (wooden block puzzles) aroun 12 to 18 months. At that age, I'd dump it out and do the puzzle slowly, explaining what I was doing as I did it. Between 18 and 24 months, I would let them put in the pieces, saying "try this spot" and then I'd turn the wooden board to match the piece up as they pushed the piece in. After that, I'd let them do it by themselves without my help, watching from a distance, giving suggestions if they got frustrated.

Here is an example conversation for pyramiding language skills for a 0 to 9 month baby:
"Do you have a dirty diaper?" pause
"Yeah, we need to change that diaper." pause
"Let's make you all clean." pause
"Yeah, that is much better. All clean." pause
"Do you feel better now?" pause
"Yeah, that's better."

All those pauses are to give them an opportunity to answer. Of course, they are not ready to answer, so after the pause, you offer their answer for them. And don't be surprised when one day they say "yeah" during that pause.

R was about 9 months old when someone at church said, "Aren't you the cutest baby?" and she said "Yeah." Later that day, someone asked her if she was ornery, and she said "Yeah." She knew how to recognize the voice influction for a question and knew what the answer to a question was.

So, that is the early pyramid language skills: supplying the answers for them. But as they get older, you give them more tools to express themselves without your answers. For example, giving them choices or teaching them baby signs. And finally, you apply your listening skills to their conversations.

Baby Signs
The best time to introduce baby signs is between 10 and 18 months. They may be trying to communicate, but we cannot understand them yet. So this is where you can start supplying them with the opportunity to express themselves without words. Some of my favorite ones were for things that they would want, like milk, water, food, and to say "more" of something, but the very first sign was for "all done" so that they would not scream at me when I tried to keep feeding them and they were full. These words are good for stopping temper tantrums before they happen.

From there, I taught them signs for animals. K right now loves to give a running dialog of everything she sees in her little world. And she no longer uses baby signs to express herself as she is 2 now, but even younger children like to tell you about the world around them. If they are excited about the cat they just saw, they will great frustrated if they can't tell you about it.

You can make up your own signs, or you can learn a little of American Sign Language. Either way, baby signs are very useful at this stage of communication. I have heard that studies show that sign language helps them transitions to words even faster and helps them learn what words are for at a faster rate as well.

Read to them
Reading to them is important, but for developing language skills, it is good to pyramid reading much like many other things. At an early age, they want to look at pictures. Reading the text on the page does not interest them. I know this simply because I tried with all three of them. But honestly, there is nothing wrong with that.

If you point to the pictures and talk about what you see rather than just reading the words on the page, they will learn so many more words that way. A short 2 minute book can take 15 to 20 minutes in our house. Why? Because we talk about what's going on. So for K, we point to things on the page and talk about the pictures. She has recently learned a few new words that way, like turtle, crab, and sad. K really just started getting into books, and we took her to the library to pick out some just for her. She picked out 10 and wants each one read to every night.

For one baby board book with pictures of baby faces, we talked about each baby. "That baby is so happy." pause "He has a spoon. He put that spoon in his mouth." pause "Do you see his smile?" pause As K is now 2, those pauses are filled with little comments from her. So enjoyable to hear.

As a mother, this always touches my heart, to hear them give back to me the joy that I have put into them.

Math Skills: Ordering

We have just started a new math skill: ordering. I always like using stories to teach math concepts. There is something that triggers understanding when you can see it in a book. Maybe they word it better than I can. Maybe it is the pictures. Or maybe it's because stories always make an impact on children.

So I planned a few art projects, some games, and ordered some really good books, including The Best Bug Parade and The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Full list of books that I used:

The Best Bug Parade by Stuart J. Murphy

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Who Sank the Boat? by Pamela Allen

How Big Is a Foot? by Rolf Myller

One Was Johnny by Maurice Sendak

Mighty Maddie by Stuart J. Murphy

Full list of games:

Game #1:

You will need toys of various sizes. We used stuffed animals. Children put them in order from tallest to shortest, and then shortest to tallest. Key words: short, shorter, shortest, tall, taller, tallest.

Game #2:

You will need building blocks (lego's, mega blocks, or wooden stacking blocks will do). Build a series of towers where each tower is taller or shorter than the next one. R likes to build stairs, so this would work too. Key words: short, shorter, shortest, tall, taller, tallest.

Game #3:

You will need stairs to climb. With each step up, talk about how much higher you are, and at the top, you are the highest. With each step down, talk about how much lower you are, and at the bottom, you are the lowest. Key words: high, higher, highest, low, lower, lowest.

Game #4:

You will need various items from your pantry. I used a jar of peanut butter, a can of peanuts, a container of hot chocolate mix, an empty mug, and a coffee tin. I picked items that were both heavy and light and where the size had no bearing on the weight. I had the girls order them by weight (estimating the weight by picking it up). Key words: heavy, heavier, heaviest, light, lighter, lightest.

Game #5:

You will need 6 Mason jars (or other glass jars that are all the same size), water, and a metal spoon. Set up tone bottles with various amounts of water and then listen to the pitch of each jar by tapping it with a metal spoon. Make note that the lower the pitch the higher the water level. Key words: high, higher, highest, low, lower, lowest.

Game #6:

Play with stacking cups, stacking rings, and Russian nesting dolls.

Full list of art projects:

Art Project #1:

You will need glue, string, and construction paper. I cut the string by inches (i.e. 1 inch, 2 inches, 3 inches, etc.) until I had 8 strings for each girl. The girls put them in order by length and then used a ruler to measure them. I had them write the number of inches by each string and then glue the string onto the paper. Key words: short, shorter, shortest, long, longer, longest.

Art Project #2:

You will need markers, construction paper, and varying sizes of round lids. Centering a lid on the middle of the page, trace it with a marker. Continue to do this for all lids so that the smallest circle is in the center of the largest circle. The child should be able to see the growing sizes of circles. Key words: small, smaller, smallest, big, bigger, biggest, large, larger, largest.

Art Project #3:

You will need varying sizes of shapes drawn on a paper, scissors, glue, and construction paper. Cut out the shapes and glue them in order by size on the construction paper. Key words: small, smaller, smallest, big, bigger, biggest, large, larger, largest.

Art Project #4:

You will need construction paper, scissors, glue, and cutouts of varying shapes. I recommend that the cutouts have a different number available for each shape (i.e. 1 circle, 2 squares, 3 hearts, etc.) Draw a butterfly on a piece of construction paper. Have the children cut out the butterfly and then glue shapes on their wings. When finished, compare the number of shapes on each butterfly. Key words: more, most, less, least.

Art Project #5:

You will need multiple toys of multiple types (i.e. 5 balls, 3 cars, 6 dolls, and 7 stuffed animals). Make a graph where you have a row for each type of toy and fill in a box for each number of that toy. Compare the lines, determining which row has the most and which row has the least. Key words: more, most, less, least.

Teaching Safety Rules: Stranger Awareness

One day two years ago, M put a plastic bag over her head, thinking it was funny. I reacted poorly, panicking, yelling. She had no clue what she had done wrong, and being hurt by my reaction, she did not listen to my explanations. Thus I learned that I need to talk to my children about safety issues BEFORE it becomes an issue.

Talk about Safety
My lesson for them have been two-fold: (1) you are important and (2) your safety is important. So I would talk about WHY we wear seatbelts, WHY we don't play with matches, WHY we don't put plastic bags or pillows over our heads, WHY we don't run into the road, and WHY we wear helmets when we ride bikes. The idea is that when they are older, they will choose to be safe because they believe they are important and that their safety is important.

Now fast forward to the present, and my girls are asking to play in the front yard. Last year, I let them play in the front yard with supervision (i.e. I weeded and planted my flower beds while they rode their bikes). I told them where their boundaries are, and I watched them listen to the rules.

1) They stayed out of the street.
2) They did not go past the light post to the right or the street corner on the left.
3) They kept their helmets on while they road their bikes.
4) They yelled at the other kids for riding bikes in the road and not wearing helmets.

I learned that I can trust them. They have proven that they are safety conscious and are willing to listen to the rules. That kind of responsible behavior should be rewarded with trust and expansion of boundaries.

Build Autonomy One Small Step at a Time
I read this article from Free Range Kids, and I gotta say I agree 100%. Except that my kids are still too young to roam free. My oldest is only five. And I also gotta say I have felt so safe with our backyard fence. I know where they are, and I like that. It will be scary to say, "Okay, you can ride your bike around the block." I dread that day, but someday they will be off to live life on their own. Someday, they need to know how to survive without me.

However, you can't just keep them safely by your side one day and then send them off to face the world the next. There is preparation. So slowly, I expand their boundaries as I see that they have learned the lessons I have taught. Now that they play in the front yard unsupervised, I have added an important lesson: dealing with strangers.

Isn't that what scares us all?

Roleplay Dangerous Scenarios
So, we roleplayed scenarios while we sat around our dinner table. I am the stranger, and I say, "Hi kids. What's your names?" So they tell me their names, and I offer them candy. They say, "No thanks." I offer them a ride in my car, and they say, "No thanks." I say "No, now is the time to run away screaming. A stranger should never offer you a ride in their car."

So we played through many scenarios, including being lost, being offered candy, being offered a ride in a car, being invited into someone's house, or being touched by a stranger. And of course, there were good strangers too, ones that did not offer candy or invite them into their houses.

We also talked about trusting our emotions. My husband told them, "If you feel scared, then maybe there is a reason. You should trust that feeling." We got to illustrate this for them when my husband felt a little concerned about someone who was watching our kids play. He said to me, "Something did not feel quite right. Should I warn the girls?" I said, "Yes." So he told them what he saw and how he felt about it. So they learned that even daddies can feel scared and it is okay to trust that feeling.

The other important lesson I wanted them to learn about strangers is to stay with other children and to watch out for each other. Safety in numbers. If M & R are together and they are with their friends, slimeballs will stay away. So I talked to them about this too, that they watch out for their sisters.

To R, just turned 4 years old in March

Sometimes you get lost in the shuffle of our busy household. Sometimes you just need to be cuddled, and my arms are already full. You so love to please, and you are devastated when you disappoint us. So many times, I just want to take you in my arms and tell you how much I love you.

I have watched you grow from a shy little girl into a little lady with a beautiful smile. Lately, you have blossomed. I notice you walk with just a little more confidence, and I know that you finally feel safe and loved in this home. I love to hear the stories that you tell, and I like to see how pleased you are when I stop to listen to your words. I love to carve out special moments for me and you to share because I know how much that touches your heart. And touching your heart is what touches mine.

There is no little girl like you in this whole world, with your deep brown eyes and soft brown hair. No one has that special smile that shows the softness of your nature. No one has that soft voice or that special sparkle that makes you who you are.

Building a Puppet Stage

We took a tall, narrow cardboard box and cut large squares into each side, and the girls had fun painting it. Then we made sock puppets, and M & R put together a show with butterflies and dragon puppets, snails and moths.

Here is R, proudly painting her puppet stage. You can see K in the background, thumb in her mouth, looking a little tired.

M, busily painting her side.

And finally here is K, painting with her feet. And you can see the evidence that she painted her mouth. Again.

How to make Sock Puppets

Below you will see a striped dragon with pink wings and a butterfly.

What you will need:

old socks

googly eyes

felt

buttons

pom poms

pipe cleaners

glue gun

needle and thread

I am not going to give specific instructions because every different puppet we make has something different in the way it was designed. Most of the work must be done by the adult since the glue gun and the needle could be safety hazards, depending on the age of your child. However, the girls are the ones who design them. They have a big hand in deciding what they want (whether it is a butterfly, dragon, bat, or snail) and what colors they want it to be.

One time, M made a bat with green wings, a pink and purple polka-dot body, and a big red nose. It looked like a clown.

Putting on the Show

Telling stories with a real plot line is actually a very advanced skill. The child needs to be able to recognize story structure, including conflict and resolution. So I suggested that they make their show one of the Go, Diego, Go! episodes (basically, someone is in trouble and needs rescued). So they made various stories where their puppets were falling or in trouble and needed saved by the other puppets.

Foamie Door Hangers

All right, I admit this picture is very sideways, but I think you can still see the general idea: a door hanger decorated with flowers.

This is a simple, easy project that we did with even our littlest 2 year old. In fact, the one displayed here is hers. By the way, she picked out her own pieces and placed them herself. The only help she needed was to peal the stickers off the back.

Things you will need:

sheets of foamie (or foamie door hangers)

foamie letters

foamie shapes (flower & friends or trucks & cars)

Instructions:

1) If you opt for sheets of foamie, cut your door hangers to desired size and shape.

2) Cut a hole on one end, big enough for the door knob

3) Peal the paper off the backs of the shapes and stick them on the hanger.

4) Turn the hanger over and decorate the other side (suggestion, put the child's name on one side).

5) Hang it up!

Pictures

This is Mother's Day 2005, before K came along.

~ M, 2.5 yrs

~ R, 1 yr

Here are pictures of all three girls in Summer 2006.

~ M, 4 yrs

~ R, 2.5 yrs

~ K, 6 mos

This is February 2007.

~ M, 4.5 yrs

~ R, 3 yrs

~ K, 1 yr

Unit Study on Birds

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing enough. It is hard to keep everything balanced between the different subjects. I do not have a curriculum like many other homeschoolers. We really could not afford one. I use my imagination and the library. We have a science curriculum and math workbooks. Everything else is resources that I found useful.

So I worry about holes in my plan. And it often seems as though I lose track of something. Like it has been a long time since we did science, although we did lots of writing and math. And other times, it seems like weeks since we pulled out our math workbooks. Now that is not to say we were not doing math as I used my own creativity to teach M adding and both M & R the concept of odds and evens.

On top of that, I am a working mom. A working mom who is about to lose her job to outsourcing. So I have been investing extra time in writing and in art, hoping to find a lucrative way to work from home. Can I find a way for my hobbies to bring in an income? Will it be big enough to support the family?

Then something happens like it did last night: my husband TJ pulled out one of our library books. TJ has taken over science lately, and he had decided to do a unit study on birds. So we all sat down on M's bedroom floor (well, K was already asleep), and we began to look at the pictures of different kinds of birds. The books were organized by category (wading birds, predator birds, large birds, flightless birds, etc.)

Now M has a crazy imagination, and she frequently makes up stories about animals that don't exist. Like hole hogs. Hole hogs are imaginary animals that have tales like beavers, antlers like a deer, and big ears like a rabbit. They are as big as bears and they build large underground dens. I went through weeks and weeks of detailed descriptions of hole hogs and all that they do, including how they take care of their babies, how they build their houses, and how they trapped snakes to eat them.

So when we began the unit study on birds, we started by tossing bird seed out by our back door. The winter birds flocked to our yard, and the girls got to watch them all day long. Then my husband got at least 25 books from the library, everything from field guides to story books. With the new topic of birds, M started making up a story about a "sweet sweet" bird that has fur instead of feathers. We were frustrated because she refused to accept facts over her imaginary world. How do you teach a child that all birds have certain characteristics (feathers, wings, beaks, etc.) when they make up an imaginary animal to defy all logic?

The book that TJ picked up last night was called DK Guide to Birds. And when we opened the book, M started telling me about a bird that does not have wings. (OK, here we go again!) Well, actually, there is a bird that does not have wings, and in fact, it has fur instead of feathers too. It is called the kiwi bird.

Surprise! Surprise! These bird books have sat in M's room for several weeks, and it looks like she has actually been reading them! She started flipping through the books, telling us about the different birds. We noticed a blue-footed boobie, which is a grey and white bird with bright blue feet. TJ said, "Look at this bird. He has funny blue feet!" M said, "Oh yes, he waves them at his mate to say hello." Sure enough, that is exactly what the text says.

We talked about partner birds, parasite birds, predator birds, extinct birds, endangered birds, big birds, little birds, flightless birds, and strange birds. M had so many questions, usually centered around the word "why." She was particularly moved by the extinct and endangered birds, and I had to explain why seabirds were harmed by oil spills. Of course, I also had to explain what oil spills were.

So after we left her at bedtime, she sat on her bed looking through the books. She has become so familiar with the books that she knows what books have which information, and which pages to go to in order to find what she is looking for. Her knowledge of birds has far exceded mine.

Some of the books she enjoyed most:

Birds

DK Guide to Birds

You Can't Lay an Egg If You're an Elephant

About Birds

Falcons Nest on Skyscrapers

I especially liked the Falcons Nest on Skyscrapers book because it is more story oriented. The book explains why falcons are endangered and what pains have been taken to restore the falcon population. Then it tracks two falcons who build a nest on the windowsill of a skyscraper. The office employees get to watch the two falcons raise their young through the glass.

Potty Training K

K just started to potty train herself, and I am having visions of no more diapers. It has been almost six years now that we have had diapers and wipes as the top item on our grocery list. We would buy a big box from Sam's.

So how did this all start? I give credit to two older sisters because I know there is very little for which I can take credit. I had no clue what I was doing when I trained M, and my mother-in-law really was the one who trained R because I was too busy with a new born. With K, all I have done so far is put her on the potty on rare occasions.

It all started about a year ago. We do not have any training potties any more. We got rid of them in favor of a padded seat that fits on top of the big potty. It was easier with older children. So about a year ago, I set her atop this padded potty seat, and she would squirm off, frightened by her "precarious" position on a seat that has a hole. I did this about once a month, or maybe more like every other month. Over time, it did not frighten her, but she would sit for about half a second, maybe a whole second before she got bored.

The day before K's second birthday, she followed me into the bathroom, and a little light went on in her eyes. "Oh, that's why you sit there," she seemed to be thinking. So when I was done, I set her up there, and this time there was a determined look, as if to say, "I know what I am doing."

When she made tinkles for the first time, we celebrated, but the next day, I did not expect that she would inform me that she needed to go! She stood outside the bathroom, and when I tried to get her to go somewhere else, she said, quite clearly, "Potty." When I set her up, I realized her diaper was dry, and she made her tinkles right away.

Now, a few weeks has gone by, but she still gets up on the potty. She does not always have a dry diaper, nor does she often ask to go. But I am so pleased that we are moving in the right direction. This summer I intend to do what I did with M. I'll put her in a sundress and put a kid's potty right by the back door. If there is an accident while she plays outside, the mess is isolated to the outdoors, no reason to clean it up. And hopefully, her dress will be just fine. I'll just need to change her panties and wipe her legs. But the important thing is that she learns the discomfort of having an accident.