Potty Training K

K just started to potty train herself, and I am having visions of no more diapers. It has been almost six years now that we have had diapers and wipes as the top item on our grocery list. We would buy a big box from Sam's.

So how did this all start? I give credit to two older sisters because I know there is very little for which I can take credit. I had no clue what I was doing when I trained M, and my mother-in-law really was the one who trained R because I was too busy with a new born. With K, all I have done so far is put her on the potty on rare occasions.

It all started about a year ago. We do not have any training potties any more. We got rid of them in favor of a padded seat that fits on top of the big potty. It was easier with older children. So about a year ago, I set her atop this padded potty seat, and she would squirm off, frightened by her "precarious" position on a seat that has a hole. I did this about once a month, or maybe more like every other month. Over time, it did not frighten her, but she would sit for about half a second, maybe a whole second before she got bored.

The day before K's second birthday, she followed me into the bathroom, and a little light went on in her eyes. "Oh, that's why you sit there," she seemed to be thinking. So when I was done, I set her up there, and this time there was a determined look, as if to say, "I know what I am doing."

When she made tinkles for the first time, we celebrated, but the next day, I did not expect that she would inform me that she needed to go! She stood outside the bathroom, and when I tried to get her to go somewhere else, she said, quite clearly, "Potty." When I set her up, I realized her diaper was dry, and she made her tinkles right away.

Now, a few weeks has gone by, but she still gets up on the potty. She does not always have a dry diaper, nor does she often ask to go. But I am so pleased that we are moving in the right direction. This summer I intend to do what I did with M. I'll put her in a sundress and put a kid's potty right by the back door. If there is an accident while she plays outside, the mess is isolated to the outdoors, no reason to clean it up. And hopefully, her dress will be just fine. I'll just need to change her panties and wipe her legs. But the important thing is that she learns the discomfort of having an accident.

Rhyming Exercise

Type this (or copy paste) into a word document and print it out for you child to fill in the blank with an appropriate word that rhymes.

Silly Rhymes


I saw a fish washing a ________________.

I saw a cat wearing a ________________.

I saw a bear combing its ________________.

I saw a star driving a __________________.

I saw a pig dancing a _________________.

I saw a mouse standing in my _________________.

I saw a clock holding a ___________________.

I saw a book hanging from a ________________.

I saw a bug sitting on a _________________.


Possible words:
car
hair
hook
hat
rock
house
slug
dish
jig

Unit Study on Russia

My purpose in these culture lessons is to give the girls a feel for the culture and awareness of the country on the map. We put a large map in our living room, and we reference it with each lesson. The map is large enough (50 x 32) to take up a good part of a the wall above a couch, anything smaller would have been too small.

I started these Russia lessons with a book entitled A Child's Day in a Russian City. In this book, a young girl eats her breakfast of blinis (they're like pancakes) and goes to school. She also visits the market and the library. What I liked most is that this gave the girls a feel for what Russia would be like for a little girl just like them.

And then I have also covered food, art, and language.


Food



I like this book, Cooking the Russian Way. There is a lot of fun recipes, pictures, and cultural information related to food. I used this book for their recipe on blinis (Russian pancakes).


I also got a few recipes from this site: http://www.recipezaar.com/recipes/russian


My absolute favorite dish was the Apricot Lentil Stew. I have never had lentils that tasted so good, partially because it was slightly sweet with dried apricots and cherries added. I served it with Russian Black Bread that we made in our bread maker. The girls did not want to try the stew, but they gobbled up the bread. Tonight I am making this stew again. It was so tasty that I want to have it again, and sometimes kids need to see something a few times before they are willing to try it.


I also want to try Russian Cheese Piroshki (their like cheese dumplings) and Plov (a meat dish over rice, with more dried apricots and cherries).


Art


I liked this book Christmas in Russia , partially for the pictures and partially for the way it helped the girls relate to the people in Russia. We have something in common: we all celebrate Christmas. They build snowmen too. They decorate trees. They sing Christmas songs. However, they don't believe in Santa. Instead, they have Father Frost and the Frost Maiden. The book dedicates two pages to telling the fable of the Frost Maiden, so now the girls get a little of their folk lore.



From our library, we got Russian art books which had many pictures containing statues, architecture, and paintings. Russian architecture is very unique, with the domed roofs. One picture showed a close up of the tiles on the roof, and the interlocking pieces that make these roofs. I gotta say I was very impressed. One caption in the book said that one particular wooden church was made without any nails. How on earth did they do that?





Then we looked through some Chagall paintings. Now that was fun. We took it slow, pointing at all the details. R was the first to notice the violin with the girl's head, and both M & R laughed at the upside down houses and green faces. We read about how he traveled to France and lived in Paris, so our reading took us back to the map to find where France was.




Language

Now we have been learning a lot about Spanish, but I have not really exposed to any other languages other than through the Dora's World Adventure CD, that M plays again and again until we cannot stand it anymore. So, I wanted to expose them to what the language sounded like. Even though I have no intention for them to learn the language, especially since I myself have no ability to teach them, I wanted to dangle something before them see if anything strikes their interest.

So I found this musical introduction to Russian for kids, called Teach Me Russian and also Teach Me Russian and More Russian (this second one is a two pack which includes the original plus some more--so if you order the second one, don't order the first). The music is popular folk songs that our kids already know from our music collection. It included songs like "The more we get together" and "Oh Susanna" and "The Wheels on the Bus." They sing the songs in English and Russian.

I expected M to really like it (she's always crazy about experiencing something new and has shown a lot of interest in different cultures), but M was more interested in the music than the language. She ran to her room where she has her own CD player and put on her kids' music CD to the song "The More We Get Together." She blared it at full volume so the music in the living room and the music in her room could match.

It was R who loved it most. She wanted to listen to the Russian music over and over again, and when it was nap time, she wanted to take it to her room with her. It pleased me to see her enjoy something. She likes school, but other than art projects, she does not show much interest in some of our lessons

Finally Beating the Messy Bedroom Monsters

In a previous post, I mentioned my struggle to get the girls to keep clean rooms, and I wanted to update on how we finally got them to understand what we expect.

First, we went to the store and bought one of those 5 drawer plastic containers. I realized that one reason that M had trouble keeping her room clean is that she did not feel there was a clear designation for everything. There was a big plastic tub for holding stuffed animals and dolls, and there were bookshelves for books and toys. And the drawer in her nightstand held her my little ponies, but there was new stuff that had no designated place.

Second, I let her "own" the responsibility. When we brought it home, I let her decide how to organize her toys. I said, "OK, what would you like to put into this drawer?" And she said, "My blocks." So we picked up all the blocks. Though she did not know it, this doubled as a math lesson: classification.

Oh, I was so pleased. I had not seen her room look so good in weeks! I finally conquered the mess!

Boy, was I angry when I found that every toy had been dumped onto the floor an hour later!

So after cleaning everything up AGAIN, I sat down with M and showed her how to play without making a mess. I said, "Let us pretend that we want to play with ponies." So I opened the pony drawer and said, "Now we don't need every pony. Let's just find the ones we want the most." So we picked out about five ponies. Then I said, "What do you want to do with your ponies? Do you want to build a stable for them or do you want a tea party?" So the ponies had a tea party, and when the tea party was done, we put the tea set away and built a stable. When that was done, we put both the ponies and the stable away.

I did the same thing with R, and both girls finally got the whole concept of cleaning as you go. For three or four weeks, the rooms stayed clean. I followed this up with a story I made up:

There were three little pigs. One little pig was so buys cleaning that she never had time for anything. She never got to play with toys because she was so afraid that the toys would make a mess, and she never got to make special crafts because she was concerned that the glue would get on the table.

The second little pig would start a project and never finish it. She would get out the paints, glue, scissors, and paper and never put them away when she was done. She would cook dinner and never clean up afterwards. Her table was full of old projects, and her kitchen full of dirty dishes. She had no room to do anything fun.

The third little pig loved to play and create new things, but she would always clean as she went. As soon as she finished her project, she put away her markers, crayons, paper and scissors, so she always knew where everything was and she had plenty of space to start something new.

One day, there was a art contest in the newspaper, and all three little pigs decided to enter the contest. The first little pig did not even start because she decided it was too messy, but the second little pig jumped in right away. However, it took her a week to find her scissors and when she did, she realized that her glue bottle had been left open and all the glue was dried out. Her markers were missing caps, and when she finally got all the supplies ready, there was no room at her messy table to do anything. In the end, she was not able to finish her project in time for the contest.

But the last little pig had a new idea just waiting to be made, and all her supplies were ready in the are cupboard. All the markers with their caps had been put away in the marker bin , and the glue bottle was carefully closed tight so that it would not dry out. The scissors hung on the scissor peg, and the paper was carefully stacked in a neat pile, sorted by color.

This made it very easy for the little pig to create the perfect project and send it in time to win the contest!

Making Masks

Here is angel M, modeling mask #1, painted pink, blue, and purple, with a flower in the center of the face.

And here is R, dancing upon her bed while modeling mask #2, painted pink and green.

Supplies:

Paper plates

Tempera paint

Elastic

Stapler

Steps:

(1) Cut shapes for eyes and mouth and nose. (done by adult)

(2) Paint designs on paper plates and let them dry. (done by child)

(3) When plates are dry, attach a strand of elastic to the plate with a stapler. (done by adult)

Now child can safely wear mask. If you are concerned about the staples, cover them with tape.

The Big Question: Socialization

Countless times I have heard the question, "But what about socialization?" And I want to respond, "And what about Columbine? Were those shooters appropriately 'socialized?'" Schools did not teach them kindness or forgiveness. Actually, really it was the school system and the other children that made them bitter and full of hatred.


Someone else said to me, "But how are you going to keep your kids from being annoying?" I went to school, and I had many classmates who were annoying. School did not make us "cool." Somebody somewhere is going to find us annoying because not every personality jives with every other personality. That is just the way it is, so why worry about this? Who cares about the popularity contest?


Someone else was concerned about our children not having the ability to stand against peer pressure and being able to make the right decisions. However, experts say that it is those children who have strong relationships with their parents that face these problems and say no to drugs and sex. It is self-confidence, instilled by a loving parent, that gives a child the ability to turn away from those things. The antidrug campaigns on TV say, "Talk to your children because parents make a difference."


So school does not magically make a person "socialized." In fact, I really feel like it does the opposite. I cannot remember where I heard the quote, but someone once said that there is a difference between socialization and socializing. Socialization is the process of learning appropriate social behaviors, and socializing is the opportunity to mingle with other people.


Where in life are you going to be stuck in a place where there are 30 other people just like you, same age, same race (usually), etc.? School is a "false" social arena because you are not often faced with diversity, different ages and different cultures.


In life, there are many opportunities to socialize. Church, family get-togethers, the neighborhood children, the local park in the summer, the play area at the mall in the winter, and play dates with friends are some of the ways that we find ways to socialize. The fact is that you really cannot stop children from socializing unless you lock them up. Children are naturally more outgoing than adults. Children do not see race or status. They just enjoy playing even when they do not know their new friend's name.

However, socialization is a careful and determined plan that a parent teaches their children on appropriate, mature behavior. Many of my parenting articles are meant to teach children socialization skills. Children need opportunities to face conflict or to make new friends, but even more, they need a chance to look back at those moments with their parents and see things from a new perspective.

M tells me about playing with her friends, "This little girl said that I was not allowed to play with this other little girl." So we talked about it: how it made her feel, how she should handle it, what she should say. Another time, she came home from a play date with a new attitude problem that we needed to discipline, and yet another time, she faced someone telling her that she was trouble. We had to show her that she was not trouble, and she felt renewed in her self-confidence, ready to face another social outing.

R comes back from the park, saying she did not make any friends, and we talk about how to make friends and what to say and do to be friendly. The next time we go to the park, she exults by telling me, "Mommy, I made three friends."

With both girls, I find that is much easier to correct the negative input from others when I can invest more into them than others do. Other children can be quite nasty in how they treat others, and children need time to recover from bullies and verbal abusers. I teach them something new about how to act and then give them another opportunity to face the social arena again.

Here are some of the important character traits a child needs to learn to be mature adults someday:

(1) how to recognize and deal with their own emotions

(2) respect for others, including others' space and possessions

(3) self-respect as well as self-confidence

(4) kindness towards others

(5) problem-solving and conflict resolution

(6) autonomy

Dealing with Emotions

Learning to recognize emotions comes from receiving empathy. The parent gives a name to the child's emotion: "So you feel disappointed that things did not work out the way you had wanted."

Learning to deal with emotions comes from discipline. For example, the parent gives direction, "I do not like you hitting your sister when you are angry. If you are upset, I expect you to use words to tell her what she did that bothered you. I want you to say, 'I do not like you taking my toys.'"

Teachers do not have time to give students individual instruction on dealing with emotions. With 30 kids to juggle, how could a teacher identify each child's emotions and instruct them what to do with it?

Respect for Others

Rather than expecting my girls to share, I expect them to respect each other's space. Learning to deal with siblings is training ground for the social arena outside our homes. If your children learn to respect that person who they must deal with day in and day out, you can be sure they will know how to respect others as well.

I love it when the girls share, and I praise them for it. However, I feel that if I force sharing upon them I rob them of the opportunity of knowing what it is like to be generous. Also, sometimes a person needs to feel like they have something special of their own. It gives them a sense of security.

Self-Respect/Self-Confidence

We use appropriate praise (describe what we see, describe how it makes us feel, give the behavior a name), for example, "I see that you used a lot of colors and patterns in your picture. It is so cheerful to see so many colors. Now that is what I call creativity."

One day, M said, "I am scared that I am not pretty." This was a new statement, and I figured this came from someone praising her with non-descriptive praise. Non-descriptive praise actually leaves a person feeling insecure. Imagine being told that you are smart, but not knowing what you did to earn the praise. What do I have to do to earn that status? Will I do something to lose it?

So I said to M, "You have sparkly hazel eyes and long, flowing hair. Your smile makes me want to smile too, and your nose is cute when it scrunches up. That is what I call very beautiful." I have never heard her express concern about her looks again.

Another way to give self-confidence is to avoid labels. People are not a label. People are deep, and their whole beings are so much more than a label that we could give them. I encourage my children to see themselves as anything they want to be: a dancer, a musician, a singer, an artist, a storyteller, a superhero.

Kindness

You learn to be kind by experiencing kindness. This requires teaching by example, for an act of kindness can touch a child's heart in ways that nothing else can. Buying a child a balloon or giving them a piece of candy or a kind word teaches them what it feels like to have something special done for them.

Teaching by example must be followed up with discipline. R came to me saying, "M said that nobody loves me." I handled this two ways. First, I said to R, "What do you think? Do you think nobody loves you." She got a big grin and gave me a big hug and said, "You love me." I said, "Who else?" She said, "Daddy and Jesus." I said, "That's right." And she trotted off secure in the knowledge that she is loved.

Then I went to deal with M's teasing, something that she recently picked up from someone else. I said, "I do not like you teasing your sister. That is not a nice way to treat her. I expect you to treat her with kindness." Lately, she has been telling me that she does not like R, so I acknowledged that is how she feels. "You do not like R and you prefer to be with K, but I still expect you to be kind to her." Now the term kindness could be relative, so I defined what I expected. "That means I do not want you to tease her by telling her that nobody likes her, and I don't want you telling her that you do not like her. You can keep that to yourself."

Resolving Conflict

You do not need to go outside the home to find battlegrounds for children to learn how to problem solve and resolve conflict. Siblings have tons of conflicts in the course of one day, and there are also conflicts between parent and child that also need resolved. Children should be allowed to resolve their own problems. Parents should step in when bodily harm needs to be prevented, but otherwise, children should work it out between them. This gives them the strength and the understanding and the imagination to face issues both outside the home and in their adulthood.

Autonomy

Because we are home schooling, I go out of my way to give autonomy. For a while there, I would dress the girls, put them on the potty, wipe their bottoms for them, wash their hands, clean up their plates from the table, clean up all their toys, and put away their dirty clothes for them. I had to remove myself from the bathroom to get them to do the whole potty thing on their own, and I had to institute their own chores and responsibilities.

I would use discipline to push autonomy and praise to reinforce it. And in the end, they are dressing themselves, going potty on their own, washing their own hands, cleaning up their own rooms, and taking their own plates to the table.

The other day, I was eating my breakfast. Everyone else had eaten, except me and M, and M wanted another piece of toast. From the dining room, I gave her instructions on how to put her bread in the toaster and how to butter her toast and sprinkle cinnamon & sugar on it. I was so proud of her when I saw how she had even cleaned up after herself, putting away the butter, the cinnamon/sugar shaker, and her knife.

And now M & R has started to volunteer to help make dinner, and K (just turned 2) has started to potty train herself. And now my hands gain the freedom to find new hobbies and to actually keep the house clean!

Words to Build and Empower

The other day, M finished a project, and when she finished and I had praised her for a job well done, she asked, "R could not do it?" Well, R had done it and had actually done it very well, but that was not the point.

Instead of coming to R's defense, I merely said, "That is not the point. This is not a competition. What matters is that you can do it, and you did it very well. What R can or cannot do has nothing to do with you."

How often do we compare ourselves to others? We think we must be wonderful if we can do something better than someone else, or we think we have no value if someone can do something better.

We teach our child to envy when we compare them to others and make them compete against each other.

M&M's for Math Skills Review

M&M's are useful for learning 1-1 correspondence as well as practicing other math-related skills. The girls had some leftover M&M's from Christmas, red and green colors, so I took the opportunity to review some of our previous math lessons. First, we classified the candy by color, and I asked, "Which has more, the red or the green?" So we lined up the colors, side by side. Whichever color had more, they could eat the extra candies.

Then M counted by two's, something that R does not do yet. Then we made patterns. R's was a simple red-green pattern, while M's was three greens followed by two reds. Then we would eat some.

Once we were down to just a few M&M's left, we would subtract. It is easier to build the understanding of adding and subtracting when you work with smaller numbers. Visually, the child can see the subtraction process when you eat 2 M&M's when there were 5 left.