When Rowena was born, there was no sister prouder than Makani. Visitors would greet Makani first, the toddler who met them at the door, before they came to see the baby. They'd ask her how she was doing, and she'd just point at Rowena, as if to say, "See what I got?"
We took a few words of advice from a friend of ours--I can never thank them enough for their wisdom--and so when Rowena was born, we said to Makani, "See what we got for you! This is your new sister!" Makani ripped her little hat off and gave her a big kiss on the top of her head.
We brought Rowena home from the hospital and laid her on a blanket on the floor, and Makani pouted on the couch because we had stopped her from squishing her sister.
Memaw said, "She's jealous."
But I wasn't so sure about that. She hadn't shown any jealousy in the past, just a great desire to hold and pet and squish her sister. I said to Makani, "It's okay, you're allowed to be with your sister." Sure enough, Makani jumped off the couch and laid down beside Rowena, holding her hand. For an hour. They just held hands and snuggled, and Rowena sucked on Makani's fingers. There was no little girl happier than Makani at that moment.
When we brought Kaylee home two years later, Makani was happy. Rowena was not. She was jealous of Kaylee's time with Mommy, and she was jealous that Makani loved Kaylee so much. As time went by, it seemed that Kaylee was always on the outside. The Baby. Too little to join in and always causing trouble for her sisters. I knew we weren't having anymore children, and so Kaylee had no playmates.
I have learned that 2 children is easier than 1. Once the youngest is able to walk, they entertain themselves, giving parents some much needed free hands. But 3 children is harder than 1. I imagine that 4 would be easier. Then you have 2 pairs that can entertain themselves rather than 1 third wheel who wants constant parental interaction.
Maybe it was partially that I missed having babies that made me want that fourth child. For six years of my life, I was either pregnant or nursing, and I had many friends and relatives having babies. And my arms were empty. And it felt oh so strange. What was I going to do with myself?
I guess, as a mother, I had to redefine myself. I am more than a mother, but I am still a mother. Just a different mother. A mother of growing children, not a mother of babies. And I had to come to terms that there really would be no more babies in our family. Then I took the time to build a friendship between Rowena & Kaylee. Oh, Kaylee still seeks out Mommy to play rather than her sisters, but I no longer worry about her being friendless.
And I have become something more as well. I am a home school mom now, and I am a writer.
A couple months ago, I was walking across the church parking lot to the swing set with Rowena & Kaylee when another little girl--about 6 months older than Makani--came up to us. Kaylee said so clearly (remember she's only 2, so to understand anything she says is quite a feat), "This is Rena. She's a big girl." And that was also a triumph because that was the first time Kaylee had actually said Rowena's name. Before she had been "Kani" as if that was equivalent to "girl."
And again, yesterday at church, someone spoke to Kaylee about her pretty dress, and her immediate response was something about her sisters, Kani and Rena. That's her jumbled way of saying their names. She went on and on about them. I wasn't sure what she was saying, but she took this opportunity to tell this perfect stranger all about her world. And her world is these two wonderful sisters that she looks up to so much.
And so Rowena now has two sisters who love her and cherish her and brag about her to all their friends and everyone they meet.
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