Learning by Example

I witnessed an argument between my two older children, playing in the oldest's bedroom. "Mommy, she won't share her blocks with me," M complained.

"She doesn't have to share," I explained. "Only toys for everybody are for sharing. Those blocks are hers, and she gets to choose whether she will share or not. Just as you have your own toys and can decide whether you want to share them. If you want her to share, you need to offer her an agreement."

Four-year-old R has her thumb in her mouth, scowling at me. "R, you do not have to share your blocks," I tell her, "but she is sharing her room with you."

M pipes up, "Either share your blocks or get out of my room. Your choice."

Did I just hear that right? Did she just say what I think she said?

She just took my discipline phrase and turned it into an assertive statement. She then used it to solve her own problem with her sister. I had modeled assertive behavior rather than passivity or aggressiveness, and she had learned by my example.