humility

Humility is simply this: knowing yourself. When you see yourself as you truly are, then you can say that you are humble, and to see yourself as you truly are is to see yourself as God sees you. This means that you do not allow anyone, not your parents, not your in-laws, not your neighbors, affect how you see yourself. Instead, you cling desperately to God's vision that he has given you.

I have taught classes and have discipled people on the topic of humility. Yet, I am not humble. God has given me a beautiful vision of myself, and yet I have been swayed by the opinions of others. I have let my mother-in-law's negative words cripple me. I have let strangers influence the way I dress and how I carry myself. I have let people at church damage my relationship with God because I was more concerned about their rejection than God's opinion.

And now I know longer know who I am. I don't know if I have any value. I don't know if I am any good at anything. I don't know my strengths or weaknesses. I don't know why anyone would like me. When the day is done and I have fulfilled all my duties, is there anything left of me worth caring about?

Thus I have secluded myself to be alone with God. I have taken long walks alone in the park with Jesus at my side, and I poured my heart out to him. It is only in him that I can find myself again. And find healing from the frustrations and depression that has nagged me.

This is a home schooling blog, but no home school teacher can teach from an empty spirit. We all need to be renewed each day, or our lessons will be empty and flat. If we are not alive at the very core of our being, then parenting and home schooling will be another chore, and our children will suffer.

Take a walk. Get away. Find a moment of solitude. Find yourself again.