too little butter

That's how I feel lately. Like Bilbo Baggins said, Too little butter spread over toast. We have been sick and I am still recovering. Tired as I am, simple tasks seem overwhelming, like doing dishes, putting kids to bed, school time... It doesn't help that Kaylee woke us up three times last night and two times the night before.

It also doesn't help that I have been so focused on writing. This week, it was a race. Knowing that I would be starting a job next week, I wanted to be done. But then I want to be finished. It feels like it is long past time, and the act of polishing is becoming quite tedious. I am so close to finishing this book I can almost taste it. And there's a self-published book contest in May. If I can finish in February and publish in March, maybe, just maybe I could enter this contest in time.

I wonder how other mothers do it all because I sure know that I fall down and struggle and mess up so much. The house is a mess and I often feel 10 steps behind. There is only so much I can do in a day, and I wish I had two of me. One to clean and move the children in the right direction (to pick up their clothes and toys, to sit down and eat, to head off to bed), and one to do the schooling and the writing.

Kindergarten and preschool teachers have teacher aids. And I want one too. Someone to keep the focus and keep things moving and help me get things done. They would get the kids' breakfast while I put dinner in the crockpot, and then they'd do the morning dishes while I do schooltime. They would entertain Kaylee while I work with Makani and Rowena, and then I would sit down to write while they put the kids down for naps. They'd make sure everything was straightened up and put away and maybe do the laundry.

When nap time's over, the house would be wonderful, and there would be plenty of time to have dinner and do the dishes, and I would then have plenty of energy to play with the kids. After bedtime, I could write some more and still do schooling, parenting, and have a clean house. Oh yes, life would be great if I could duplicate myself for just the hours between 9 and 3.

Or be rich enough to hire a maid.

sibling love

When Rowena was born, there was no sister prouder than Makani. Visitors would greet Makani first, the toddler who met them at the door, before they came to see the baby. They'd ask her how she was doing, and she'd just point at Rowena, as if to say, "See what I got?"

We took a few words of advice from a friend of ours--I can never thank them enough for their wisdom--and so when Rowena was born, we said to Makani, "See what we got for you! This is your new sister!" Makani ripped her little hat off and gave her a big kiss on the top of her head.

We brought Rowena home from the hospital and laid her on a blanket on the floor, and Makani pouted on the couch because we had stopped her from squishing her sister. 

Memaw said, "She's jealous." 

But I wasn't so sure about that. She hadn't shown any jealousy in the past, just a great desire to hold and pet and squish her sister. I said to Makani, "It's okay, you're allowed to be with your sister." Sure enough, Makani jumped off the couch and laid down beside Rowena, holding her hand. For an hour. They just held hands and snuggled, and Rowena sucked on Makani's fingers. There was no little girl happier than Makani at that moment.

When we brought Kaylee home two years later, Makani was happy. Rowena was not. She was jealous of Kaylee's time with Mommy, and she was jealous that Makani loved Kaylee so much. As time went by, it seemed that Kaylee was always on the outside. The Baby. Too little to join in and always causing trouble for her sisters. I knew we weren't having anymore children, and so Kaylee had no playmates.

I have learned that 2 children is easier than 1. Once the youngest is able to walk, they entertain themselves, giving parents some much needed free hands. But 3 children is harder than 1. I imagine that 4 would be easier. Then you have 2 pairs that can entertain themselves rather than 1 third wheel who wants constant parental interaction.

Maybe it was partially that I missed having babies that made me want that fourth child. For six years of my life, I was either pregnant or nursing, and I had many friends and relatives having babies. And my arms were empty. And it felt oh so strange. What was I going to do with myself? 

I guess, as a mother, I had to redefine myself. I am more than a mother, but I am still a mother. Just a different mother. A mother of growing children, not a mother of babies. And I had to come to terms that there really would be no more babies in our family. Then I took the time to build a friendship between Rowena & Kaylee. Oh, Kaylee still seeks out Mommy to play rather than her sisters, but I no longer worry about her being friendless. 

And I have become something more as well. I am a home school mom now, and I am a writer.

A couple months ago, I was walking across the church parking lot to the swing set with Rowena & Kaylee when another little girl--about 6 months older than Makani--came up to us. Kaylee said so clearly (remember she's only 2, so to understand anything she says is quite a feat), "This is Rena. She's a big girl." And that was also a triumph because that was the first time Kaylee had actually said Rowena's name. Before she had been "Kani" as if that was equivalent to "girl."

And again, yesterday at church, someone spoke to Kaylee about her pretty dress, and her immediate response was something about her sisters, Kani and Rena. That's her jumbled way of saying their names. She went on and on about them. I wasn't sure what she was saying, but she took this opportunity to tell this perfect stranger all about her world. And her world is these two wonderful sisters that she looks up to so much.

And so Rowena now has two sisters who love her and cherish her and brag about her to all their friends and everyone they meet.

all is not well

There's nothing worse than sick children except maybe having sick children while you are sick too. This is our second weak of illnesses in the house. TJ got it first and then passed it to the kids, one at a time. On the one hand, it's nice to deal with one child at a time throwing up. On the other, I'd like to get it over with.

And I am sick too. * squeak * I was having a major gluten reaction, which started as feverish, achy skin and extreme fatigue and a strange rash on my arm and then left me with a sore throat and a cough and no voice. It laid me out for about 5 days, but now, I am actually getting much better. * cough *

Now that R is starting to eat a little, M is curled up on the couch with her throw-up bag. This virus seems to last about 4 days, so as she has just started last night, life will be very miserable for us. 

Yesterday was TJ's birthday. His birthday wish for next year is that nobody throws up.

musings of a two year old

I've tucked her in, given her kisses, and told her good night. I read her a story. Twice. And then another story. But she still doesn't want to let me go. She pats her pillow and says "Mommy sleep here." Her blue eyes look at me with expectation, and though I really want to read a book and write on my own book and browse the internet and send an email to a friend, I stop for just another moment to snuggle up beside her.

She insists that I've gotta get under the covers beside her, and so I crawl into her blankets and lay down. Then she sweeps her arms around me and gives me the biggest hug that touches a mother's heart and makes her melt. Then she rolls onto her back, and staring up at the ceiling, she begins to tell me about her day. Her brow is furrowed in a serious expression.

"My lips have colors." She touches her mouth with both her hands. I'm thinking about how great it is that she would say this. I've been pointing out colors more, and I've been reading more color books.

"That's right. You're lips are pink," I say.

"My lips are green." She runs her fingers over her lips, like she's smearing on lip gloss. "My lips are yellow and blue. Kani says something something something, and Rena says..." I can't quite make out what she's saying about what her sisters have told her. But it's quite important to her.

She tells me about a movie she watched. I only understand a few words--the names of the characters--but I just say, "uh-huh." It seems more important to me to let her share what's on her heart than for me to understand every word.

She continues talking for five minutes, and I wish I had a tape recording to remember every part of what she shared with me. To think what I would have missed if I hadn't stayed just a moment longer...

Knock Knock Jokes

M has been telling Knock Knock Jokes, and she doesn't quite understand them yet. She doesn't understand the concept of a pun, so she tells the most bazaar jokes.

"Knock Knock," she says to me.

"Who's there?"

"Rita."

"Rita who?"

"Rita spider! Isn't that funny?"

She's six, and I think these jokes are great. But now she's got K doing them too. If M doesn't quite understand, K has no clue what she's doing. She's just two.

"Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

"K."

"K who?"

"K and Mommy and M and R."

R hasn't really told me any knock knock jokes. I'm looking forward to what she comes up with.

Preschool / Kindergarten Gift List

"Pick up your toys!" I yell. Again.

But when I look at how many toys there are, I realize that the task of cleaning up toys is overwhelming even to me. How much more so for a preschooler?

My Little Ponies. Tea sets with all the plates, cups, and tea pots. Stuffed animals. Legos. MegaBloks. Dolls. Doll Clothes. Little People. Barbies. Tool sets. Cars big. And cars little. Come on, how many toys do three little girls need?

Take away all their toys, and they will have fun just dancing in a circle, jumping, running, and playing with rocks and boxes. Do they really need all that they get for Christmas or birthdays?

So knowing that grandparents and aunts and uncles flood the kids with plenty of toys, we have tried to find a way to make gifts special without toys. So this gift list focuses on a preschooler's educational needs and helps to prevent an overload of toys.

Arts & Crafts:
Art keeps the kids busy and helps supplement our schooling. However, they already have paper, scissors, glue, and markers available to them. We are a home school family after all. These things have become the staple of our lives.

Therefore, focus on something special, like colored pencils or Crayola Mix 'Em markers instead of crayons. Or you could get a child's delight and a parent's worst nightmare: washable finger paints--hours of very messy fun!

Watch Me Draw and other art books give simple step by step instructions on how to draw animals, dinosaurs, and bugs. Add a quality sketch pad to allow them to collect their drawings together. Here's a list of different art books for ages 4 and up:

• Watch Me Draw: Things Girls Love
• Watch Me Draw: The Zoo
• Watch Me Draw: Favorite Pets
• Watch Me Draw: Dinosaurs
• Chicken Socks Super Scissors Book

Browse an art store. There are many felt sewing crafts produced by Lauri Toys that have large plastic needles and pre-punched holes so that a preschooler can easily sew with some help. Check out some wooden models that you can build and paint together.


Reading & Math:
Try something new. Software like Reader Rabbit is a fun way to promote an early understanding of phonics and math. Reader Rabbit teaches the following skills in their interactive storybook games:

• Phonics
• Vocabulary
• Spelling
• Comprehension
• Numbers
• Problem Solving
  

For some great stories and fun characters, check out some of these picture books:

Skippyjon Jones by Judy Shachner
Follow the stories of Skippyjon Jones, a young Siamese cat, who travels to far away places with his vivid imagination. Down in Ol' Mexico, he battles a bumble bee and saves the frijoles for the Chihuahuas. His mother scolds him lovingly when that bumble bee turns out to be his birthday piñata and he has spilled jelly beans all over the floor.

Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson, illustrated by Jane Chapman
Some animals congregate in the great Bear's den while he slumbers through the winter. They pop corn. They brew tea. They dance by the firelight. And Bear misses the whole thing, snoring on through the winter storm. A pepper fleck wakes the Bear with a loud kerchoo, and the party stops with a fright. Everybody knows that you don't wake a bear!

Also check out other Bear stories like Bear Wants More.

Super Fly Guy by Tedd Arnold
Imagine taking your pet fly to school. He learns to read with you. He paints with you. And he goes to the lunchroom with you. And there he gets in trouble with the lunch lady Roz.

Check out other Fly Guy books like Hi! Fly Guy, which won the Theodore Seuss Geisel Honor Book Award.

Swim, Little Wombat, Swim! by Charles Fuge
Little Wombat laughs at Platypus and his funny waddle, but when he accidentally falls into the water and Platypus rescues him, he feels sorry for making fun. Instead the two become friends, and Platypus teaches Wombat how to swim.


Science and Math:
Try getting a magnifying glass as a stocking stuffer. It's fun for kids to carry about and explore the world around them. In the winter, they can inspect snowflakes, and in the summer, they can study insects and flowers.

Promote the fun of science with a science kit. You will find many different kinds available at teacher, hobby, and toy stores. Our favorite one for young kids is the magnet set. It's easy to use and has many fun, reusable projects. Our kids enjoy getting out the magnets and doing the same projects again.

Reasons to Ignore Parenting Advice

Everywhere you go, people spout their opinions.  In-laws and parents alike, neighbors, coworkers, people at church:  they all have their opinions and freely tell you what you should and should not be doing.

Listening to wisdom is a good thing, but sometimes these people aren't offering wise advice.  Sometimes they are just bragging about how much better they are, building themselves up at your expense.  Sometimes they've never had children.  Sometimes you watch them say some pretty nasty things to their own kids.  Sometimes their advice just won't work for your family's needs.

And when you are a home schooling family, everybody feels the need to put in their two cents about your child's education.  This often leads to carrying burdens that we would do much better without.  Here are a few reasons to ignore unwanted and often foolish advice.

1.  There is more than one way to solve a problem or to do something.  You need to find the resources and the methods that work for you.

2.  Every child is different.  What works for one does not always work with another.  I have three children, and I have to deal with each child differently.  How much more so when you go from one family to another!

3.  God put your children in your hands.  It is your responsibility before the Lord to raise your children with wisdom and kindness and love and nurturing admonition.  That job does not belong to anyone else.

4.  Other people are not omnipotent.  They do not have all the answers.

5.  You can often get conflicting advice.  One person tells you to make your child cry it out, but another says that is cruel.  If you listen to everyone, you'll just tie yourself into knots.

6.  And if you allow yourself to be sidetracked from your purpose by every wave of advice, then you will just be spinning in circles.  You will lose your purpose.

I have had people tell me that my kids can't learn from me because I'll be too soft.  Or I'll give them all the answers, and then they will only learn to depend on me.  Or only a teacher can appropriately discipline a child.  Or they won't get socialized.  If I focus on these things (and there have been times that I have), I'll find myself trying to prove them wrong or be overly hard with the discipline or extra tough on their schoolwork.

And then home schooling has lost its joy for all of us.

Here I am saying to ignore the advice of others when I am writing a parenting / home schooling blog to give advice.  But hey, even I can get on my high horse and spout nonsense every now and then.  Even I can become all high and mighty and not really meet your needs as a parent.

So when someone does give you advice, look at it carefully.  Ask yourself:  Is this wisdom?  Would this work for us?  Is there a smidgeon of truth in this criticism?  If so, what do I need to do about it?  If not, be sure to move on and ignore it.

Finally, do your own research.  Decide for yourself what is the best parenting approach, and then test all advice against your personal plan.  Study up on wise parenting written by people you trust.  I always enjoyed books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish or by Jane Nelson Ed.D.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk is a practical guide to communicating with children.  They tell you how to express yourself clearly, how to listen effectively, how to motivate, and how to discipline.  But they don't just tell you what to do.  They tell you why.

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children:  Your Guide to a Happier Family is Adele Faber's and Elaine Mazlish's personal story as they learned to apply their parenting method to their children.  Between the two of them, they had 6 children, and they relate honestly their own triumphs and failures.  It made me feel less guilty for my own failures, and more humble about my triumphs.

Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson Ed.D. in some ways builds on some of the concepts I learned in Faber's and Mazlish's books.  In other ways, she has her own perspective on discipline.  I gotta say, discipline became a lot more effective when I applied her wisdom to my methods.

Toddler Gift List

I admit that I am not looking forward to the toy dump we will get this coming Christmas. The last thing we need in our house is more toys. We have so many toys that I doubt that they can enjoy what they already have.



Knowing that grandparents and aunts and uncles flood the girls with plenty of toys, we have tried to find a way to make Christmas special without toys. When they were little, we focused on learning toys and art supplies. So here is a great list of educational things to get for young children.




Reading:

For her second birthday, little K got a LeapFrog Little Touch LeapPad for ages 6 to 36 months. Prior to getting this present, she had no patience to sit for a book. Suddenly, it seemed like a whole new world had opened up for her. She would love to sit on my lap and flip the pages. I didn't have to read or say anything. I would just watch as her love for reading blossomed.





From there, I started getting baby board books for her from the library. She was hooked. Sandra Boynton board books are colorful and cute as well as entertaining for child and adult alike. TJ and I exchange smiles at our favorite lines, and where we once quoted our favorite movies while cooking, you can now hear us saying, "But not the armadillo."



Like many children's books, Moo, Baa, La La La discusses the sounds animals make. Well, except that the three singing pigs don't say oink. They say, "La, La, La." I could easily read this book over and over again without getting bored or annoyed.



In But Not the Hippopotamus, the animals are all doing things together, except the hippo which just hides to watch everyone else have fun. Then finally the animals stop what they are doing and get the hippo to join in. Now all the animals are together. Well, except for the armadillo.



Dinos to Go is about 7 dinosaurs with different personality traits. One dinosaur named Hey-Ho Howdy sings loud, real loud, and I can't help but think of near and dear friends of ours that fit this description. Some of the pages get long for young ones. I would often read the first few lines for each dino, and then as the girls grew older, I'd read more of the descriptions.




Art:

M and R already have their own art supplies. Their own scissors. Their own glue. K has watched and wished. Christmas is a good time to get her some supplies of her own, but also art is a good way of keeping little hands busy. Toddlers are often left out of the school planning. We are often so focused on teaching the oldest their spelling words and teaching the middle one how to read that the youngest gets forgotten.



Putting the toddler at the table with a piece of paper and a pair of safety scissors is a way to keep them occupied while you teach. I like this particular pair of scissors. They are not sharp enough to hurt a child, but they still work well on paper. It took us a long time to find a pair of scissors that didn't leave both us and the child frustrated.



A bottle of Elmer's glue gives the child an opportunity to glue their cut pieces of colorful constructrion paper onto another paper. Scissors, glue, paper? Sound like a cheesy gift? Not to a toddler. Add some washable markers or better yet some Mix-Ems, and you will have hours of entertainment that keeps your toddler's hands busy and you free to work.



Keep these stored as part of your school supplies to control the mess and to help teach responsibility. Although these are gifts, it is okay to keep them in a cabinet to be used when you can oversee the projects.




Fine Motor Skills & Mathematics:

These toys are meant to build fine motor skills and are great tools for teaching mathematics as well.



Building with MegaBloks promotes hand coordination, spatial awareness, geometry, and imagination. Believe it or not, I have even used it for pre-reading skills by creating stories around the things we built. As my children grew, I used MegaBloks to teach other mathematical skills, such as sorting & classification, patterns, addition, and subtraction.



Stringing beads and lacing & tracing shapes are more great tools for keeping young kids busy. Keep some wooden puzzles, a toddler tote, a bag full of interesting rocks, another bag full of plastic lids, and some playdough, and you will have a wide array of interesting things for toddlers to explore at the kitchen table.

Book Review: My Cat, The Silliest Cat in the World

My Cat, The Silliest Cat in the World

by Gilles Bachelet

I am an elephant girl. My husband loves wolves, and I like elephants. Our unity candle sits on the mantel, surrounded by wolf and elephant figurines. So when I say I liked this book, I gotta admit I am a little biased.

Reading this book to the girls was fun. With each page, M compared the "cat's" behavior to real cats. R just sucked her thumb and listened. And K scrunched her nose and said, "That's not a cat. That's an elephant." Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to write baby speak very well, so I cannot add the cuteness that she had when she made that statement.

I said, "Yes, that's not a cat, but the owner sure thinks he is." K just looked more deeply at the pages. This was a new concept for her, calling something by something other than what it is. She was quiet for a few moments. I wonder what her little brain was thinking.

I love the pictures of the elephant doing cat like things, grooming, sleeping, and chasing a ball of yarn. Somehow the artist did a magnificent job drawing the elephant grooming in the same posture you would see a cat. Or the more amazing part was the Siamese cat-elephant, the Persian cat-elephant, or the calico cat-elephant. Sometimes it seemed as though my eyes were playing tricks on me.

In the end, the owner tries to find his cat's breed in a cat book. He decides his cat must not be listed in the book.

Excellent story. Very fun to read. I highly recommend that you check this book out from your library or buy it here.

Finding Creativity

That's me in this picture.  Being silly.  Finding creativity. Finding myself.

I was browsing amazon.com for books on writing, which led me to books on writing about motherhood, which led me to a book called The Creative Family. The picture intrigued me. It made me feel homey. It made me yearn for home and family and children. And creativity.

So I used the Amazon's Look Inside feature to read a few pages. Chapter one was a very simple concept. "Teach your children to be creative by being creative yourself." Hmm, I already know that. But oh, it felt so good to hear it. I'm not sure what it was that made her words so much more powerful, but I felt a yearning waken in me.

Oh, I am creative. I love to draw and write and scrapbook. But somewhere along the line it stopped being an exploratory pursuit and turned into something else to do. It stopped being play and started being a job. Something more to get done. Something more to accomplish. Another short story. Another article. Another home school assignment.

I wanted to be a kid again and just enjoy art for the sake of art. Not to improve myself or make some money or be a better mother or make my house more beautiful. But instead, just to have fun.

With this thought in mind, I decided to be more playful during bedtime routine last night. Little R brought me some "soup." She had a bowl, a toy cat, and spatula. "I'm mixing," she said proudly to me.

"Are you making cat soup?" I said, making a yucky face.

"Eat some, Mommy!"

"Oh no, yucky, yucky, yucky!" I shake my head and make faces. She laughs.

She insists. I must try the cat soup.

I pretend to take a tiny, tiny sip. And then proceed to make the most horrible faces. She laughs again. But now the laughter is deeper, as though it came from the belly.

For the next five minutes, I proceed to exaggerate the most extradorinary expressions of disgust. And let me tell you, it felt so good to be kid for just five minutes. It was freeing. When it was done, I tucked the girls into bed, which they jumped into bed more readily than usual. They hugged me more tightly. And there was a deeply satisfied spark of happiness and contentment in their eyes that hadn't been there in a long time.

I imagine my eyes looked about the same.

Something profoundly spiritual had occurred in that playful moment. As though I had found myself once again. As though the years of stress and the heavy burdens of adulthood had fallen away.

Book Review: Tiny and Bigman

Tiny and Bigman

by Phillis Gershator

Miss Tiny is not really so tiny. She is so big and strong that it keeps her from getting married. Nobody wants to marry her because she makes them feel weak and useless. Well, that is until she meets Mr. Bigman, a tiny, weak little man who moves to the island.

I never liked women's lib stories for children. The promotion of the powerful woman at the expense of the weak man seems a bit like a childish competition to me. When M says to R, "I'm faster than you," I always say, "It's not a competition. It does not matter how fast you did something, what matters is that you did it in the first place." If you need to make someone else feel weak in order to feel strong, then there's a problem.

However, this story really isn't about the promotion of the strong and powerful woman at the expense of man. It is really just a sweet love story about a woman who loves to help others and how she finds her perfect match.

I love the cadence of this story. I can't help but fall into a little bit of an accent myself as I read outloud to the kids. And I'm not one for accents, yet this book just begs for it.

The pictures are colorful, illustrating a world and a culture that my kids have never experienced. Books are the road to experience new things, and this book brings that to life.

At the end, I always repeat the words from the story, "...kiss, kiss, kiss her on her soft brown cheek," and give them all hugs and kisses. Then they beg me to read it all again.

Book Review: The Princess and the Pizza

The Princess and the Pizza

by Mary Jane and Herm Auch

I want to retell the whole story from the beginning. I want to tell you every word about the witty princess and her side comments.

But oh for Pete's sake, that wouldn't be fair! Besides, I don't think I could do it justice. I know our kids loved the book, but not as much as we did. They didn't get it when the princess had to pass the pea in the mattress test and said, "This is so once-upon-a-time!" They didn't get it when the princess said "Oh for Pete's --- aaah," and this named the first pizza.

They didn't get it when the princess ran away, refusing to marry the prince, and started her own pizza parlor.

But they liked it all the same. And we still laugh together about the princess and her accidental pizza pie. And we still remark, "Oh for Pete's sake," and our children look at us like we are crazy.

5 secrets for busy mothers

A bit of wisdom that I have learned in the past and need to learn once again:

1. Get up while the house is still quiet. Get your breakfast. Get your shower. Have a moment to drink your coffee and plan your day. You are worth the extra effort to take care of yourself before you start to serve others.

If you let them wake you, you will be 10 steps behind the rest of the day. And you will be too tired and grumpy to tackle the day's challenges.

2. Keep a journal. Write your thoughts and contemplate yourself. Take the time to recognize your emotional state. Emotions are often warning messages, helping you know when to rest and when something is not healthy. Take the time to ask yourself who you really are. Knowing yourself and finding yourself are integral for good parenting. Then take time to pray and read a Bible verse.

3. Find time to exercise. When the children are grown and you face yourself again, you will wish that you had taken care of yourself. Just as it is not your wish for your children to be unhealthy, it is not God's wish for you either. He cherishes you just as you cherish your children. Parental duties and jobs should never get in the way of this.

4. Eat lunch. And have a snack. At the end of the day, I find that I snap more. Why? I don't feel hungry, but once I've eaten dinner my mood improves. We are finite people. Only God is infinite, and we are dependent on water, food, and God to nourish our lives. So don't be a martyr and eat something.

5. Talk quiet walks frequently. Not for the purpose of exercise. Not for some goal. Just for the chance to meander and to be quiet. To have solitude. Parents are goal-oriented. Everything we do has a purpose, whether it is to cook dinner, buy groceries, pay the bills, or get some exercise. We are always striving.

However, children are experience-oriented. They do stuff for the simple joy of being. Growing up has made us lose that eternal quality of just being.

Herding Cats

Chaos. That's all I can say to describe most mornings in our house. No wonder we're always late everywhere we go. I'm not one of those mothers who have everything under control. I'm just not naturally organized. What little organization I have, I've worked hard to obtain. And if I'm not careful, it all slips away.

Shoes are not always where they are supposed to be. And now that it is getting colder, we have to hunt down coats. Why are the only shoes in the closet sandles? Little K runs around in her pull-up, still wearing her pajama top and she has one sandal on the wrong foot. No pants. No socks. And one wrong-seasoned shoe. Little R is still asleep. And M, also still in her pajamas, is starting an art project.

And we should have left 15 minutes ago.

Food is on the table. But nobody is eating.

And once everyone is ready, I realize that I didn't even brush my teeth yet!

Herding Cats. Yes, that's exactly what our life is like.

Taking a Midday Break: a parenting necessity

My husband TJ has been the stay-at-home dad throughout the early years of all three of our children. When the second little girl was born, our oldest stopped napping. At 1 year and 9 months, she was alert and happy and did not seem to need the extra sleep anymore.

Poor TJ. He would run all day, taking care of a newborn and a toddler. He'd miss lunch, and by the end of the day, he was tired, grumpy, and unbearable.

Parents are on duty 24/7, and those that are home all day never get a break. There are no coffee breaks. There is no lunch break. There is no time to shut your eyes and take a deep breath. Because the moment you do, there are children clambering for something. "More milk, Daddy!" "I want to wear these clothes now." "I gotta go potty!"

Once you add home schooling to your parenting duties, forget having any down time. Your down time is spent with lesson plans and cleaning up art supplies.

TJ and I had a big fight one night when M was 2 years old and R was just 6 months. He hadn't eaten all day, and we went grocery shopping directly after I got off of work. Was it 8 or 9 o'clock when we got home? I can't remember, and he was hungry and had a migraine. I ruined his pizza, and he flew off the handle.

"All right, that's it," I said. "They must all go down for naps at the same time from now on. M does not have to sleep. Just let her play quietly in her room for an hour and a half."

To this day, we still have that policy. Sure, M is 6 and doesn't need the extra sleep, and R is 4 and rarely sleeps during the day. K is 2 and still needs to sleep most days. But we still need the break every day. We still need a moment to collect our selves, plan the rest of the day, and eat lunch.

The kids benefit too. The tendency in our day and age is to over schedule our days and to plan too many special events for our children. As home schooling parents, we sometimes feel the need to make up for whatever they might be missing from school or to prove to in-laws that the children really are excelling at everything. But specialists have discovered that children need downtime and unorganized play to develop. Quiet time is as good for them as it is for us.

How do you entertain younger children while home schooling?

Busy schedules and young children don't always mix well in a home schooling family.  What do you do to keep your children involved or occupied?

Do you give them an age appropriate activity that does not require your help? 

Or do you get them involved in your lessons?

Please share with everyone and include your children's ages.

humility

Humility is simply this: knowing yourself. When you see yourself as you truly are, then you can say that you are humble, and to see yourself as you truly are is to see yourself as God sees you. This means that you do not allow anyone, not your parents, not your in-laws, not your neighbors, affect how you see yourself. Instead, you cling desperately to God's vision that he has given you.

I have taught classes and have discipled people on the topic of humility. Yet, I am not humble. God has given me a beautiful vision of myself, and yet I have been swayed by the opinions of others. I have let my mother-in-law's negative words cripple me. I have let strangers influence the way I dress and how I carry myself. I have let people at church damage my relationship with God because I was more concerned about their rejection than God's opinion.

And now I know longer know who I am. I don't know if I have any value. I don't know if I am any good at anything. I don't know my strengths or weaknesses. I don't know why anyone would like me. When the day is done and I have fulfilled all my duties, is there anything left of me worth caring about?

Thus I have secluded myself to be alone with God. I have taken long walks alone in the park with Jesus at my side, and I poured my heart out to him. It is only in him that I can find myself again. And find healing from the frustrations and depression that has nagged me.

This is a home schooling blog, but no home school teacher can teach from an empty spirit. We all need to be renewed each day, or our lessons will be empty and flat. If we are not alive at the very core of our being, then parenting and home schooling will be another chore, and our children will suffer.

Take a walk. Get away. Find a moment of solitude. Find yourself again.

Celebrating Successes to Beat Depression

As a home schooling parent, I sometimes get lost in the worry that I am not doing enough. I am sure the whole world over, parents struggle with this issue, but when parents decide to take responsibility for their child's education with home schooling, it's as though that worry gets amplified ten times over.

Lately, I have felt a bit like a hypocrite. I write about parenting and home schooling, and although I do follow my own advice, I don't feel like I really do have it all together. Especially not right now. I'm a working mom, and I'm about to lose my job. So in the midst of home schooling, I have to keep working at my current job and find another one.

Only, there are no jobs in my field in the city where I live. All the jobs are located in the bigger city to the south of us. With the housing market the way it is, we are trapped in our house unless we decide to abandon it, ruining our credit in the meantime. Otherwise, I will have a long commute, and rather than being away from home 9 hours a day, I could be gone 10 or 11 hours a day.

I have cried myself to sleep several nights in the past two weeks. And with the feelings of discouragement and fear, I have been very negative with my words. I have railed at God, and I have said some very foul things about myself.

I decided today that I need to say something good about myself. I hate to hear my children speak negative words, and when I hear it come from their mouths (which thankfully is rare), I immediately make a move to build them up. Why is it that I don't give myself that same grace?


1. I hugged and kissed my children before bed last night and again this morning before I left for work.
2. I hugged and kissed my husband ten times this morning just to be sure he knows I love him.
3. I packed a tasty, gluten free salad for lunch today, taking good care of my health and tantalizing my taste buds. (roasted pumpkin seeds, ham, mozzarella, spinach, tomato, and avocado with olive oil & garlic vinegar dressing) It is important to eat healthy, but it is even more important to enjoy every bite.
4. I take time aside to exercise with my husband several times a week. It's good for me, but it is also good for him. In this way, I help to take care of him while I take care of myself.
5. The days that I don't exercise with my husband, I often get the family out for a walk in the park, so that we all move together. This is having family time, sharing the joys of nature with my children, and teaching my children to exercise.
6. I am not a helicopter mom. I don't hover too close, and I don't give constant instructions. I don't do everything for them. This means that they aren't dressed like perfect angels with spotless clothes and their hair done with cute little ribbons. I sometimes feel like a failure for this, but I believe it is better for them to dress themselves than that their clothes match and that they have the right kind of shoes for their outfits.
7. I actually get down and play with my kids.
8. I try to listen to my kids. I try to stop and hear what they are trying to tell me. Sometimes I have to stop daydreaming first, but I do get down on my knees to be eye level with them and hear what they say.
9. I spend time doing what my husband is interested in. I quite happily follow him into whatever adventure he has for us. I play his games, watch his movies, and enjoy every minute of it. I talk about the geeky things he likes, and he is always so proud to tell his friends about how geeky his wife is.
10. I have written a 450 page novel. That is by no means a small task. OK, there are many people who write novels and think its good when it is just crap. I have learned quite a bit about writing in the past year, and I know when I started what I wrote was crap. My characters were flat, the detail was empty, and my plot had holes. I kept coming back to it and changing it, making it grow into something better. I didn't give up.
11. I always keep moving forward. I never give up. No matter how discouraged I get, I am not a quitter.

If you also feel down and discouraged, please make a list like this. Keep going until you finally believe the good words you are writing.

5 Hands-On Geography Activities

There is more to geography than memorizing states and capitals and studying maps. If you make geography an experience to remember rather than facts and information to recite, you and your child will have a lot more fun along the way.

Explore the world with a compass.
Take a walk around your neighborhood or hike through the park while carrying a compass. Take a compass to the mall or the grocery store. Let your kids carry a compass while they ride in the car. This helps orient a child to their world, making them pay attention to where they are and teaching them how to navigate.

Draw your own maps.
Maps tell you where things are and how to get there. However, maps don’t need to be fancy. As you explore the world with your compass, draw maps of what you see. Draw a map of your house, your neighborhood, your grocery store, or your park.

After drawing a few small maps of your local areas, expand your domain. Look at a real atlas to see how they designate rivers, deserts, and mountains, and then use that as a guide as you build your own world atlas.

You can even have a little fun by drawing maps from stories. Based on the age group of your children, you can build a map for Clifford’s neighborhood, for the barnyard where Charlotte weaves her web, or for the four kids who traveled through Narnia.

Tell stories about your maps.
What happened as you walked around your neighborhood? Tell a story about it as you draw your map. Telling stories builds memory, communication skills, and confidence, so swap some tales as you color.

Add a little imagination and sail the Nile River on a raft. Climb to the top of Mount Everest and have a picnic with a mountain goat. Walk the entire length of the Great Wall of China. What do you see along the way? Who do you talk to?

Write your stories down and compile your maps and stories into a book that you can read again and again. This can be a project that grows over the years.

Experience different cultures.
Russia is the big country in the northeast corner of our world atlas, but what is it like to actually experience Russia? What do the people like? What kind of clothes do they wear? What kind of music do they listen to? Do they dance? Do they sing? What do they eat? How do they work? How do they live?

Answer these questions by eating their foods, wearing their clothes, and listening to their music. Learn some words of their language, and read books about children in that country. Maybe you could even find a pen pal your child can write letters to. Suddenly, you will find Russia is no longer a big orange smear on the map. It has come to life.

Travel.
As a child, I lived in Texas, and most of our extended family was in Wisconsin and Michigan. This means that every year, we had a long road to travel to visit our family. I remember every landmark along the way. I remember the little lazy town where our car broke down, and I remember the excitement over crossing each state border.

As an adult, my husband and I moved out west for a short while. The seven day road trip is memorable, and we still laugh at the South Dakota road signs. I loved driving through the mountains of Minnesota and snapping pictures of the pica that scampered across the road. We drove through Yellowstone and experienced wild bison, and I watched a beautiful green-blue Oregon river turn muddy brown from pollution.

Ask me to fill in those states on the map, and I can now easily list them all. But even more, I remember the terrain and what made each state different than the others.

The wonderful thing about home schooling is that you don’t have to wait for summer to take a vacation. Bring your schoolbooks, pack your paper and pencils, and hit the road.

China

Chinese Culture

China (A to Z) by Justine Fontes and Ron Fontes

This book is an encyclopedia of China, describing everything from animals to buildings to cities to dress. The book even includes some Chinese words. Easy to read, beautiful pictures, and wonderful information.

Children of China by Jacqueline Buksh

This chapter book describes life for four children in China. Written from each child's perspective, this story talks about daily routines, family life, things the children learn in school, and things they see around them. Nice descriptions and beautiful dialog.

Chinese Stories

The Pet Dragon by Christoph Niemann

A little girl named Lin has a pet dragon. Together the two cause trouble until one day Lin's father says that the dragon must be put in a cage. The next day, her dragon is missing and searches China to find her dragon. Along the way, we learn some Chinese symbols, which are cleverly incorporated into the art work. Every page introduces two or three new words in a way that is very easy to remember.

Warning: For those of you who are concerned about magic, there is a shaman/witch included in this story. If your religious beliefs are against this, you can avoid this book or you can use it as a means to discuss the topic with your children.

Two of Everything by Lily Toy Hong

This Chinese folktale is about Mr. and Mrs. Haktak, a little old couple who struggle to survive until they find a magic copper pot that duplicates everything they have, including them. Beautiful artwork and a cute story.

Favorite Children's Stories from China & Tibet by Lotta Carswell Hume and Koon-Chiu Lo

A book full of folktales from China, depicting life and customs in a witty and charming manner.

Chinese Food

Visit an authentic Chinese restaurant with someone from China. Let them order for the table and then eat family style.

You can also experience Chinese food at home. We often eat Asian Beef and Broccoli at home. This recipe has been altered to accommodate gluten-free cooking for those who have that problem as I do.

Ingredients

Head of Broccoli, chopped

Thin Beef Steaks, cut into strips

white pepper, to taste

salt, to taste

1 tbsp corn starch

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 tbsp gluten-free soy sauce (or you can skip this if necessary)

1/4 cup beef broth

1 tbsp olive oil

ginger, freshly grated, to taste

garlic, minced, to taste

Rice, cooked

Steps

1. Boil the chopped broccoli for two minutes. Drain and set aside.

2. In a large frying pan, spray with cooking spray and cook the meat at medium high-heat.

3. As you stir the meat, add white pepper and salt to taste.

4. Turn the temperature down, and put the lid on.

5. As the meat browns, stir together the corn starch, sesame oil, and soy-sauce.

6. Pour the sauce and broth into the beef and stir briefly.

7. In a small frying pan, saute the ginger and garlic in the olive oil.

8. When the garlic and ginger is browned (about 1-2 minutes), add it to the meat along with the broccoli.

9. Serve on rice.